Clown Troupe Cancels Show At Knesset, Citing Dignity Of Clown Shows

“Our dignity is precious enough to us that we will not perform at such a disgraceful venue, no matter what the cost.”

Jerusalem, December 9 – An ensemble of garishly-painted, slapstick performers known for oversize shoes, exaggerated pratfalls, and a pie-in-the-face brand of humor reversed its decision today to put on a production of its material at Israel’s parliament building, with a representative of the ensemble explaining that the bounds of good taste and respect for reputable institutions make it unwise for their group to be associated with such an embarrassment.

Ofer Kofiko, using his stage name, told reporters Thursday that his Tombel Tembel troupe of six performers will not, in the end, put on their show at the Knesset later this month, following a reconsideration of the impact such an even would have on the dignity of the troupe.

“It was a tough decision to make, because we’re struggling to book shows,” he acknowledged, his frown somehow accented by face makeup painted on in a permanent smile. “The COVID restrictions have put a real damper on our gig schedule. We all thought at first that a show at the Knesset could seriously raise our profile and give us a chance of more and better bookings, so we were gung ho about it until about last week.”

“That’s when one of us, I forget who, questioned whether debasing ourselves like that is the right move,” he continued. “It ignited a fierce debate over the importance of maintaining our dignity and standards versus paying the rent and putting food on the table. We finally resolved this morning that, come what may, our dignity is precious enough to us that we will not perform at such a disgraceful venue, no matter what the cost.”

Kofiko explained that while Tombel Tembel’s act might not meet the rigorous standards of high art, their hard work and refusal to compromise on quality showmanship places them far, far above the degraded spectacle that takes place most of the year at the Knesset. “If we ever find ourselves forced to compromise on this policy, and we end up doing a show there, just shoot me,” he begged. The clown then held a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, releasing a cloth from the barrel that read, “BANG!”

The group’s spokesman then left his media interviewers and tripped over his oversized shoes, landing face-down in a pile of dog feces, nevertheless remaining worthy of greater respect than the 120 legislators whose self-aggrandizement and political grandstanding bring more shame to the country’s institutions than any scatalogical mishaps ever could.

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