Don’t Insult My Life’s Work By Calling Israeli Policies ‘Genocide’

By Adolf Hitler

I’m as anti-Jew as the next Nazi, but stop saying Israel commits genocide against the Palestinians. Calling anything Israel does to the Palestinians “genocide” is a slap in the face to those of us who devoted years of our lives and our entire political careers to actual genocide.

I’m tired of hearing that canard. We murderous despots know a genocide when we see one, and the Israeli occupation just isn’t it. Where are the mass killing sites where people are forced to dig their own graves, then mowed down by machine gun fire? Where are the battalions of paramilitary police dedicated to methodically erasing community after community? The gas chambers? The crematoria? If this is genocide, it’s the single most unsuccessful attempt at one the world has ever seen. What sort of attempt at ethnic cleansing results in a population increase among the victims?

As my friend Pol Pot put it, until you start piling up the skulls of the undesirables, don’t come to me about wanting your genocide recognized.

Especially galling is the attempt to call the semi-blockaded Gaza Strip a “concentration camp.” Please. In any concentration camp worth the name, the inmates spend one hundred percent of their time thinking about their stomachs, because they’re given just enough stale bread, gruel, and ersatz coffee to keep them barely alive – that is, when they’re not being worked to death. In Gaza, they’re complaining about not being able to export their foodstuffs at pre-blockade levels. They have extra food! What kind of a lousy concentration camp is that?

Those stupid claims would be enough to rile me, but the topper is that so many of the accusers would deny my efforts. I made it very clear from the 1920’s onward that I wanted to rid the world of the Jews. Every policy my party and government pursued was calculated to separate and eliminate as many Jews as possible from the territory under our control, and to make them suffer as much as possible in the process. To hear those measures, which cost countless deutschmarks and demanded a sprawling bureaucracy covering most of a continent, minimized or denied outright, would throw me into a murderous rage. I’d mobilize an entire population of local sympathizers to pillage, rape, beat, and immolate entire cities of victims, destroy their houses of worship, and ship them off en masse to certain death, where no so-called “aid” organization could ever reach them.

So cut it out. Say it about Syria, Iraq, or sub-Sharan Africa. But don’t insult my legacy by calling what Israel does genocide.