Even Twice-Divorced Gingrich Impressed By Biden’s Abandonment Of Mideast Allies

Gingrich divorced his second wife in 1999, having led the GOP charge to impeach President Bill Clinton just a few years before over the latter’s marital infidelity while in office, all while the Speaker himself was conducting another such affair.

Atlanta, March 3 – A former Speaker of the House of Representatives and presidential hopeful on multiple occasions who garnered a reputation for dissolving relationships when they got rocky and someone new came along voiced his misgivings this week at the speed with which the new administration has worked to dissolve such relationships among Levantine and Persian Gulf states in pursuit of Iran.

Onetime Georgia Congressman Newt Gingrich, now on his third marriage, told reporters Wednesday that even he feels whiplash at the rate that the President Joe Biden and his State Department team have pivoted away from existing alliances and relationships in the Middle East, all in an effort to court the mullahs in Tehran with the prospect of both reentering the community of nations and continuing their pursuit of nuclear weapons and conduct of proxy wars and financing global terrorist operations.

“It’s bewildering, how fast things changed,” observed Gingrich, who told his first wife, Jackie, as she lay hospitalized for cancer treatment, that he wanted a divorce. “Even when I was having an extramarital affair back in 1980, I at least gave my marriage some time to improve before up and dumping her. This ditching of the express interests of Saudi Arabia, Israel, the UAE, and others in the region is a little much, and coming from me, that’s really saying something.”

Gingrich divorced his second wife in 1999, having led the GOP charge to impeach President Bill Clinton just a few years before over the latter’s marital infidelity while in office, all while the Speaker himself was conducting another such affair. “Dizzying is another word that comes to mind to describe this situation,” continued the former Congressman.

The retired Republican, who spearheaded a set of proposals called the Contract with America during his term as Speaker, considers himself an authority of sorts on the breaching of such commitments. “You can believe me when I say I know a reneging when I see one,” he boasted. “I’ve only divorced twice so far, but that’s enough for me to become familiar with what a betrayal looks like. Now don’t quote me on this part, but I feel like the Biden Mideast team has taken a page or two out of my playbook, the part I haven’t told my third wife – she’s the one with whom I was having the affair that ended my second marriage; are you keeping track? – that I’ve got my eye on a hotter, younger thing now, a former Trump campaign girl. Maybe once that feces hits the fan I’ll be in the same league as they are.”

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