Expat Who Wouldn’t Have Voted Anyway Really Energized By Trump Surge

“It’s going to be yuge!”

Jerusalem, July 25 – A native New Yorker who moved to Israel more than twenty-five years ago and has never cast an absentee ballot expressed his enthusiasm today for the fortunes of the Republican presidential nominee, the man’s family and acquaintances reported today.

Daniel Rothman, 50, shared his excitement about Election Day in the US this November, following more than two decades of neglecting to participate in any of the Election Days since making Aliya from Long Island in 1999.

“I’m pumped not to vote again,” he gushed. “I’m registered in New York, which is a solid blue state, so my vote wouldn’t get counted anyway. I’m so happy to be a part of this. It’s going to be yuge!”

As a rule, states count absentee ballots only if the number of such ballots equals or exceeds the difference between the total votes in that state for the top two candidates. With New York as a Democratic Party stronghold, Rothman’s absentee votes, had he ever bothered to submit any, would have met the trash can or shredder, not the vote tallies: a blue vote would have no effect because the vote had gone blue already; a red vote would make no difference because not enough New Yorkers vote Republican in the first place for his to close any gap.

Canvassers for both Republicans and Democrats in Israel, as in other countries, make efforts during election years to register expatriate voters and encourage them to file absentee ballots. The focus has long been on swing states such as Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Georgia, where absentee ballots have some chance of tilting the balance, but the volunteers urge all eligible voters to participate.

“It’s important to remain engaged, regardless of the significance of one’s specific vote,” explained Marc Zell, a Republican activist in Israel. “I don’t care if you’re registered in a solid red or solid blue state, vote, so you have some buy-in – even if your vote does matter less than Jewish lives do to progressives.”

“Me, I’m from California, so my ballot is destined for the recycle bin regardless,” he continued. “Propriety would dictate I vote straight GOP down the ballot, and that’s fine as far as the non-presidential elements of the election. But I might just have some fun with the presidential election, and write in Joe Biden.”

Rothman, for his part, has already started stocking up on alcoholic beverages to celebrate an anticipated Republican triumph that he did nothing to bring about.

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