Filipino UN Troops, Now In Israel, To Take Jobs In Home Care

Ein Zivan, Israel, August 31 – Following a firefight with Jihadist rebels and many fraught hours during which their fate was unclear, the 75 UN soldiers from the Philippines who managed to make their way across the border into Israel are considering joining the professional field of home healthcare in which so many other Filipinos already work in Israel.

A spokesman for the group, Major Obed Siyudi, told reporters that more than half the force was interested in the career change, and that work as a UN peacekeeper would serve the men well in caring for elderly and infirm Israelis. “The UNDOF mandate, like most UN troop deployments, is wishy-washy, and confers little real authority on the soldiers themselves,” he explained, using the acronym for the United Nations Disengagement Observer Force, in place along the Israel-Syria frontier since 1974. “Because we’re supposedly neutral, we get hit with a lot of crap, which is excellent preparation for changing adult diapers.”

Siyudi added that experiencing the complete lack of respect from one or more of the parties under observation squared well with the anticipated abuse and discrimination that could be expected as a home health care worker in Israel. “Many Filipinos and Filipinas are unprepared for the challenge of doing one’s difficult job under circumstances that can often become downright slavery. But we UNDOF troops are better acquainted than most with drudgery, discomfort, existential unease, knowledge that you’re really far from home in an alien culture, and that, while your presence is necessary, no one really wants you there because you remind them of their biggest problem.”

The job market for Filipino caregivers is said to be tight, given that there are approximately 100,000 Filipinos already in Israel, according to estimates, among about 300,000 total foreign workers. But the recent arrivals believe their background as members of UNDOF will give them an edge in securing some of the better positions in the field, such as caring for prominent elderly Israelis. “I think I could take care of Shimon Peres,” said a soldier who gave his name as Sergeant Esperanza.

The fate of about 40 other UN troops from Fiji remains unknown. They were taken captive by Al-Qaeda rebels in separate series of attacks and are being held in an unknown location. It is thought that if the Fijians make it to Israel, their experience as hostages of Islamist terrorists will give them an unbeatable advantage in the job market for clerks serving the public at the National Insurance Institute.