Flag That Survived Simchat Torah Suggests New Armor Possibilities

Normally, flags disintegrate, disappear, tear apart, or are otherwise destroyed within twenty minutes of their arrival at the Simchat Torah festivities.

Jerusalem, October 25 – A paper banner on a stick that was used to celebrate the completion of the annual Torah-reading cycle somehow made it through the holiday of Simchat Torah intact, leading defense specialists to consider whether the flag was composed of some formidable, lightweight material that could prove useful in the development of body armor or extra protection for combat vehicles.

The flag, made by a five-year-old last Thursday, survived the arduous celebrations of Sunday night and Monday morning, known as Hakafot, a feat that observers note has never before been accomplished. Normally, they say, flags disintegrate, disappear, tear apart, or are otherwise destroyed within twenty minutes of their arrival at the Simchat Torah festivities, and it remains unknown what accounts for this flag’s durability. Experts from the Ministry of Defense visited the home of the flag-maker last night after news of the achievement reached them.

“We’re excited at the promise this flag represents, and are hoping to gain the consent of the family to take it into custody for analysis,” said Ministry of Defense Director-General Udi Adam. “If a material can emerge unscathed from Hakafot as reported, we may have the makings of a powerful new armor on our hands. Our troops and police officers can always use an extra bit of protection.”

Analysts pointed out that the versatility of the flag material, whatever it may be, is evident in its ability to withstand both blunt force and sharp objects, a feat that existing body armor struggles to accomplish. “The protection against stabbing offered by, for example, a synthetic or leather neck guard does not extend to rocks, bullets, or other high-speed projectiles,” explained C. Su, who has consulted for the Israel Police. “But whatever this flag is made of, it successfully resisted the stomping, pulling, and other dangers to which every other Simchat Torah flag ever made has succumbed. The most assiduously duct-taped, laminated flags, let alone the mass-produced paper ones with the plastic handle, have until now failed to stand up to the rigors of Hakafot, and understandably so. This could be big.”

The identity of the preschooler who made the flag at a Sukkot event for her older siblings’ elementary school, as well as that of her family, remain confidential, for their protection. Preliminary inquiries indicate that none of the other 75 flags made at that event survived Simchat Torah, leading the defense officials to believe that the secret to new armor lies with the kindergartener who made the durable prototype.