Foes Thought Mass Flight Of Israelis They Imagined Post-10/7 Would Dent Population By Now

“Our premises can’t be wrong – those are axiomatic,” he explained, detailing the difficulty.

Gaza City, July 29 – Supporters of the terrorists in this coastal territory who believed reports of Jews crowing Ben-Gurion Airport last October and November to get out of the country as quickly as possible in the face of Palestinian attacks wondered today why, after so many months of the phenomenon they had convinced themselves was occurring, the number of Jews in the Jewish State has not declined by any appreciable amount.

Online advocates for a “Free Palestine from the River to the Sea” who trafficked on social media in images of what they wanted to believe were Israelis thronging to flee Israel – which would represent a fulfillment of a long-embraced Palestinian dream – amid rocket attacks and an invasion that claimed thousands of Israeli lives – paused this morning to consider the implications of the trend they had assumed to continue since then, and questioned why, after all this time and flight of Israelis, Israel appears to have as many Jews as ever.

“The math just doesn’t work,” pondered Ayama Nayif, who enthusiastically shared the images of Israelis at the Departures area of Ben-Gurion Airport, unaware that it showed tourists returning home from vacations and Israelis embarking on theirs, and not, as propagandists had wishcast, anyone running away.

“Our premises can’t be wrong – those are axiomatic,” he explained, detailing the difficulty. “Since we must assume that Israelis are foreign colonizers, and everyone knows they all have two passports, they must not really belong here, and if we hit them hard enough they’ll just go wherever they came from because deep down they also know they’re foreign invaders. So I’m a little… I guess disappointed that there must be more Jews here than I’d thought? Can’t be any other explanation.”

Mr. Nayif appeared unaware that the term “Palestine” comes from an ancient Hebrew word for “invaders.”

He also seemed not to consider the implications of Palestinians, whom he considers the indigenous people who would rather die than flee their land, basing their entire grievance narrative of the last 76 years on having done just that.

“Somebody’s lying,” he decided, in explanation. “It must be the Jewish-owned media. We are winning! That is the only possibility. To think otherwise would be to admit failure, and failure is something to blame on others, never to admit to oneself. Fortunately, we have the Jews to blame. Too bad it’s much harder now to take out those feelings on them because they’re no longer defenseless. We’re working on that, though.”

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