Foreign Ministry To Close; ‘Not Accomplishing Anything’

Jerusalem, August 23 – Israel’s cabinet has decided to shut down the country’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs amid realizations that its efforts to combat Palestinian propaganda have become pointless.

The ministers voted unanimously to disband the ministry and reassign some of its employees to other government offices. In addition to sparing those employees and envoys the Sisyphean labor of countering Arab and other anti-Israel rhetoric, the move will save the government nearly 2 billion shekels annually.

The vote was conducted early Saturday after the appearances on various media outlets of Ministry spokespeople produced no apparent impact as a result of hosts or interlocutors who either failed or deliberately refused to allow the Israeli representative to get a word in edgewise amid a storm of accusations and distortion.

Spearheading the effort to close the offices was none other than Avigdor Lieberman, the Minister of Foreign Affairs. “Israel has been hit with a number of wake-up calls in recent weeks,” he said. “First we were taken by surprise at the extent and sophistication of Hamas’s terror tunnels. Then we were blindsided by the effectiveness of their strategy for putting dead children front and center and causing international media to basically ignore their terrorist activities. And now, well, we just have to face facts: the efforts of this ministry have been a joke. The only one who’s doing a decent job is our ambassador to the UN,” he added, referring to Ron Prosor.

Politically, the unanimous vote was surprising, but not a shock, to most experts. “The Foreign Ministry is seen as a stronghold of Labor voices,” says analyst Frecha Atzuma. “With Labor not part of the Coalition, there was little resistance to removing those troublesome voices from exerting an impact, albeit indirectly, on governmental decisions. I was somewhat taken aback, though, that Tzipi Livni voted in favor,” she said, referring to the HaTnua chairwoman and Minister of Justice who was seen as a moderating influence on Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. Livni did not address the subject with reporters following the vote, but was seen getting into her limousine holding hands with Minister of Defense Moshe Yaalon.

The dissolution of the ministry will formally take effect at the end of October, by which time the vast majority of employees will be laid off. A skeleton staff of several hundred will remain in the interim to help distribute the assets to other ministries, all of which seek to get their hands on at least some of the newly available budget allocation. The only portion of the ministry staff slated to survive more or less intact is the mission to the United Nations, which will be transferred to the aegis of the Prime Minister’s Office along with the liaison staff for citizen affairs overseas, a role now performed by the various consular officials.

Public reaction has been muted. “Wait, we have a Foreign Ministry?” wondered Raanana resident Dafna Sirote. “Why haven’t we seen any of what they do?”