Frank Costanza’s Car Still In Good Spot Near Tel Aviv Theater

“He’s got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood.”

Tel Aviv, December 24 – Nearly a week after he attended a pair of shows by his son’s best friend in this Mediterranean city, Frank Costanza has yet to move his 1978 Mercury from the perfect spot in which he parked it, his son reported Thursday.

George Costanza, 40, noted that his father is particular about securing and getting the most out of well-located parking spots. “He’s got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he’s not gonna wanna move. You don’t know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn’t go out for weeks,” he explained.

The elder Costanza parked the car in question on a side street near the Menora Mivtachim Arena, where Jerry Seinfeld held two standup performances on Saturday and Sunday nights. Both shows sold out within minutes of being announced, but the comedian arranged for both Costanzas to attend. As George described it, Frank happened upon an available parking space within a few minutes’ walk of the arena, a spot that was not, by some miracle, marked with the red-and-white curb that denotes a no-parking zone. Nor, the pair noticed, did it feature the red-and-yellow curb of a bus stop, where no stopping is permitted at all. Best of all, they realized, there was not even the blue-and-white curb that indicates the area is zoned either as pay parking or residents-only parking.

“He told me to get out and make sure there was no hidden no-parking sign, or private property sign, or something,” recalled George. “I couldn’t believe it. Nothing this good ever happens. But lo and behold, there was nothing to indicate we couldn’t park there, and nothing to indicate we couldn’t leave the car there as long as we wanted.”

To avoid having to move the car, Frank stayed in the arena overnight between Seinfeld’s shows, relying on refreshments from the concession stands and a cooler full of food he asked George to deliver to him. “I had a hard time convincing the usher to let me back in after the beginning of the first show, because I didn’t save the ticket stub. Nobody keeps the ticket stub.” In the end, Frank emerged from the building to take the food from George.

Since the second performance, Frank has stayed in southern Tel Aviv so he can maintain the advantages of his optimal parking spot. George expressed annoyance, but also conceded there were advantages to the location. “I found a date, and it was cheaper to use the car than rent a room somewhere,” he said. “I even made sure to clean up well afterwards, because the last thing I need is my dad finding a condom wrapper and asking me, ‘Is this a prophylactic?’ I could never live that down.”