Gamer In Hot Water With Wife After Calling Marriage ‘Side Quest’

“I sometimes get the sense that woman has no idea what’s important to me.”

Ramat HaSharon, October 5 – An enthusiast of various types of interactive online entertainment faced a new round of romance troubles today after employing a term to refer to his spouse that indicated he views their relationship as less than primary in his life, while his main pursuit remains those various types of interactive online entertainment, household sources reported Thursday.

Shai Zoltan, 35, faces the wrath of his wife of four years following a discussion she overheard between him and a male buddy about gaming pursuits, and Shai’s expression pregret that he has had less time over the last several months for various games, as the “side quest” of his marriage has occupied more time than he expected.

“Sorry, I can’t make it to our streaming session again this weekend,” Shai had apologized to Nir Maggen, a longtime collaborator on Twitch, where the two often team up on MMPORGs. “[Wife] Shani wants to go to dinner and a concert. This side quest is becoming less and less side quest for me, you know?”

Shai expressed bewilderment at his situation. “I’ve always been a gamer,” he insisted. “Shani knows I’ve always been a gamer. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s my identity, but since like middle school, I’ve been more online than off. I was there in real time when the ‘I used to be an adventurer like you; then I took an arrow in the knee’ meme was born. I can kick anyone’s backside in Mario Kart. But apparently, according to SOMEBODY, when I undertook to honor, support, and sustain a certain female in my life, that commitment supplanted my true lifelong love. Apparently.”

“She’s now demanding I stop gaming during the week!” disclosed a flabbergasted Zoltan. “As if I don’t already take too much time out of gaming to go to work! This is madness!”

“I don’t know if it’s a woman thing, or that she’s pregnant,” he continued, “but maybe this is a ploy to get me to prepare for fatherhood. But I know I’ll do just fine. I’ll teach the kid gaming right off the bat. I’m sure I can do just fine with a baby on my lap. I mean, if Shani doesn’t appropriate my special gaming chair in which to nurse. That would be just like her, come to think of it. I sometimes get the sense that woman has no idea what’s important to me.”

Please support our work through Patreon.
Buy In The Biblical Sense: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B92QYWSL