“Google Plus is relevant, hip, and used by Americans and Russian trolls alike. It’s really the cat’s pajamas.”
By Danny Nash, correspondent
Washington, January 17 – Representatives of tech giant Google maintained a vigil outside lawmakers’ offices today in a bid to convince the legislators investigating possible Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election that the company’s social network played a noticeable part in that operation.
Jeffrey Miller, an attorney for the Mountain View-based company, spoke to anyone whose attention he could find, and offered arguments in favor of including Google Plus in the roster of platforms alleged to have influenced voters leading up to November 2016. “Like the Russian sponsored ads on Facebook, the ads on Google plus could have been seen by millions,” claimed Miller. “Google Plus is relevant, hip, and used by Americans and Russian trolls alike. It’s really the cat’s pajamas.”
Popular consensus has all but settled on the notion that Russia tried to meddle in the elections, say analysts. “At this point, worn out Russian hookers look at Trump Tower and think, ‘Man, a lot of Russians have been inside that thing,'” remarked tech commentator Marcus Zuckerberg. “The Trump Tower visitor log reads like an NHL roster. The question though is the strategy they used. In the fallout from the election, a lot of attention turned towards social media giants such as Facebook and Twitter, platforms found to have been exploited by Russian government actors in order to sow discord within the American electorate.” And, Google representatives insist, Google+.
President Donald Trump continues to deny Russian influence led to his victory. “Saying there’s a connection between Trump and Russia is like saying there’s a connection between Trump and… Diet Coke,” the President told MSNBC today, “I mean…yeah, there’s a ton of them in the White House, and they fuel my activities, and I lie about how much they influence me, but drinking Diet Coke doesn’t make me any money or anything.” Upon being reminded that he was being asked to comment on the role of social media on the election, the President replied simply, “Is Facebook the one with Justin Timberlake? You know, he wanted to take over The Apprentice when I left and I turned him down.”
In Congress, Senators appeared unimpressed with Google’s insistence. “I’m trying to watch this dog on YouTube pulling a sled up a hill and going down, then repeating it a dozen more times,” growled Chuck Schumer (D-NY). “Will you leave me alone?”
Reports also indicate that an attorney dispatched by Microsoft sat outside the hearing for its entirety, weeping quietly and holding up a sign that read, “What about Bing?”
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