Gov’t To Address Budget Shortfall By Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Town has Ever Seen

“It’s just the idea to both save our budget and turn this town around!”

Jerusalem, October 21 – Fiscal constraints ahead of a vote on the main spending bill in Israel’s parliament have led several prominent ministers to propose an operation that aims to generate revenue by producing an event consisting of musical, dance, acrobatic, dramatic, athletic, and other performances, the proceeds from which will cover the items and programs the legislation ordains, but for which projected 2022 tax receipts will not suffice.

Minister of Finance Mickey Roni and Minister of Education Yehudit Garland, who chair the government’s efforts to forge a 2022-23 budget, embarked today on a logistical and artistic endeavor to put on what they called “the greatest talent show this town has ever seen.” Roni and Garland predicted that once the producers generate enough interest in the phenomenal performances, attendees will fork over the dough necessary for the social programs, schools, pensions, and other spending items in a proposed budget that at the moment exceeds anticipated tax revenue by 18 billion shekels.

“It’s just the idea to both save our budget and turn this town around,” gushed Garland. “I can see it now – everyone coming together in unifying civic pride to help this place get back on its feet, and at the same time bring to the audience some of the most spectacular acts ever to grace a stage. Mickey and I will even star in some of the numbers!”

Organizers have yet to finalize the lineup and content for the talent show, which also has only a tentative date and venue – the International Convention Center near the main entrance to Jerusalem, in early December. Already, however, some information has leaked that activists find problematic, stated a spokeswoman for the Association for Civil Rights in Israel.

“We are disturbed by information suggesting that at least one act is expected to feature an ‘old-fashioned minstrel show,'” charged ACRI representative Emji Emm. “The phenomenon of musicians or performers in blackface, playing ethnic instruments and perpetuating stereotypes, has no place in our society. This holds true all the more so when funding for NGOs such as ours depends ever more on American donors who do not realize that blackface doesn’t carry the same negative associations in Israel, even among Jews of Ethiopian heritage, that it does in the US. The dependence on American dollars forces us to shoehorn Israeli social and political issues into their familiar American framework so that we can sound all the right notes and extract the maximum donation by suggesting Israel is plagued by the same kind of racial tension and injustice.”

Calculations indicate that to cover the budget shortfall and production expenses, tickets will cost an average of NIS 43 million each.

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