Group Confined To Narrow Strip Next To Sea Sure It Will Push Jews Into Sea

“We have them exactly where we want them.”

Gaza City, May 11 – Members of an Islamist movement that Israel and Egypt restrict to a narrow section of land along the Mediterranean coast voiced confidence today that their endeavors will find Allah’s blessing and they will succeed in driving the people who surround them into that body of water.

Hamas fighters and spokesmen repeated their people’s seven-decades-old ambition of driving the Jews into the sea, a rallying cry that Arab leaders first invoked as the Palestinian Jews of 1947 and 1948 prepared to establish their own state, and again in 1967 when the Arab nations surrounding Israel again attempted to undo their losses of 1948. Both times the Jews defending their homes gained territory from the forces attacking them, but this time, vowed the Hamas members, with the situation reversed and the Jews outgunning them, the stage is set for total victory.

“We have them exactly where we want them,” assured Kufar Al-Qilya of the group’s Izzedin al-Qassam Brigades. “From here, on this narrow coastal territory, with no tanks, no air force, and no reason to fight other than that we cannot abide Jews having the temerity not to live as an underclass dominated by Muslims, we will prevail, because Allah is with us, as He has been with us since… well, it’s obvious He is with us because He is with us! Why else would He favor us with nothing but the glory… of losing to a ragtag bunch of Holocaust survivors despite outnumbering and outgunning them ten to one in 1948? I haven’t thought this one totally through, so bear with me.”

Other militants echoed Al-Qilya’s bravado. “The time is ripe to wipe the Jewish scourge from Palestine forever,” declared field commander Sittin Duq. “Our sponsors in Tehran have been generous with rockets that we can lob at the enemy, and maybe only a third of them will fall short and kill our own children this time! The moment is upon us when we exploit our strategic position, with our backs to the sea, and, uh, I don’t know, maybe sneak around behind the Jews and push them the other way? Ahmad, what’s the plan here?”

Hamas leaders joined with those of other terrorist groups in the Gaza Strip to reassure the population under their care that the militants will do everything in their power to ensure that the inevitable civilian deaths from placing men and materiel in the midst of a dense urban population will serve a higher purpose, much like the futile deaths of the thousands who tried to prevent Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland from happening in 1948.

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