Guests Petition Gov’t To Make Meals As Good As Smorgasbords

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Jerusalem, September 6 – Frustrated attendees at various catered affairs took to the political arena this week to protest the drop in quality of the food they experience when moving from the smorgasbord to the sit-down meal, calling on their political representatives to require that caterers make the dinner portion of every affair at least as tasty and appealing as the smorgasbords to which they have become accustomed.

A petition that began on Facebook and migrated to other media began circulating last Thursday night after a wedding in the Ramat Rachel section of Jerusalem – technically a independent kibbutz but geographically surrounded by the city – at which guests were observed scarfing serving after serving of food at the smorgasbord but barely touching the appetizers and main courses served after the ceremony itself. The petitioners took to social media to share their accumulated frustration with that phenomenon, until one user posted the petition. As of Saturday night the number of signatories numbered in excess of 40,000.

“Once you pick up your fork at the sit-down portion of the event the caterer has earned his money, and has no incentive to provide the finest fare,” read the petition. “We partygoers, who are also voters and consumers in our own right, refuse to sit for this any longer and demand that caterers immediately produce dinner food on par with or better than the delectable dishes available at the smorgasbord.” The organizers call the phenomenon “unconscionable” and “exploitative of the guests and host,” in that the latter must pay the entire amount for each guest even if the guest barely touches any food. As a result, they say, the host is out of pocket and the guest has a compromised wedding or Bar Mitzva culinary experience.

“The burrito station was fabulous,” said a Ramat Rachel wedding attendee who declined to be identified. “And the kubbeh was fantastic. I kept going back for thirds and fourths. After the ceremony we got to the meal, and were greeted by pesto that didn’t even use basil. It had parsley. I couldn’t get near it.”

The petition’s organizers hope that caterers respond positively so as to obviate any approach to governmental bodies to impose some sort of reform, but are prepared to take the petition all the way to the Knesset if the catering halls and companies prove unresponsive to their plight. “We know they’re capable of producing spectacular food, since we eat the smorgasbord. There can’t be any real reason not to serve similarly tasty dishes in the next room an hour later,” says Gur Mond, one of the first signatories and a frequent reception attendee.

Caterers have yet to formulate any collective response, but several told PreOccupied Territory that reporters really should wait to file their stories until they taste the desserts that prospective clients are given to sample before signing up to pay hundreds of shekels per person who probably doesn’t stay late enough to get to dessert when weddings are always held on weeknights.