Gulf Nations Gave To Gaza At The Office

Kuwait avoided the encounter entirely, preferring to hide in a maintenance closet until the coast was clear.

Doha, July 13 – Arab and Muslim countries who pledged to help fund the rebuilding of Gaza Strip homes and facilities after the 2014 war between Hamas and Israel reassured inquirers today that they had indeed made good on those pledges, separately, at their workplaces.

“We gave at the office,” promised Saudi Arabia, which according to World Bank figures committed to providing half a billion dollars in reconstruction aid, but has so far given only one tenth of that. “Yeah, there was this guy who came around collecting, and we gave the rest of the money to him. The Palestinians should see it in their bank accounts as soon as the transaction comes through.” The kingdom then excused itself, saying it was already late for an important meeting.

“Oh, you mean they haven’t gotten the money yet?” answered an uneasy Qatar. “That’s weird. I had the receipt right here a minute – oh, wait. It must be in my other suit.” Qatar pledged a full billion dollars, but has made good on only 15% of that amount.

Other nations not bordering the Persian Gulf had similar reactions. “What do you mean we haven’t paid?” protested Turkey, looking around to see who might witness the interaction. “We support the Palestinians in Gaza one hundred percent!” Turkey has paid about 64 million dollars of its $200M pledge, or 32 percent.

Kuwait avoided the encounter entirely, preferring to hide in a maintenance closet until the coast was clear. “Are they gone? I can’t stand those people,” intoned the emirate, which pledged two hundred million dollars but paid none of it. “When will the Palestinians finally realize we don’t actually care about them? We just made that pledge to get people off our backs about the whole thing. Nobody actually thought we’d give them actual money, did they?”

Bahrain reassured inquirers that it was on it, and that Palestinians would see the rest of their 6.5 million dollar pledge any day now. “Must have gotten lost in the mail or something,” said the wealthy oil state. “We could swear we took care of that a long time ago.” Bahrain’s shortfall remains relatively small in absolute numbers, but they have only paid $750,000.

The United Arab Emirates, which has paid less than 30 million of its 200-million-dollar pledge, appeared confused by the question. “You mean give the money to the Palestinians? But why would we do that? Is this some sort of joke?”

The UAE smiled and looked around. “We’re on Candid Camera, right? Come on, show me the camera.”