Hamas Fart Becomes ‘Israel Uses Poison Gas On Gaza Tunnels’ In Media Reports

“That’s the industry standard.”

Rafah, February 26 – News outlets conveying developments in this coastal Palestinian territory transformed an incident in which an Islamic militant training in an underground passageway emitted a burst of malodorous flatulence into allegations that the Israeli military had deployed poison gas to counter the tunnel threat.

The Associated Press, Agence-France Presse, Reuters, and the British Broadcasting Corporation, among others, reported the intestinal-gas-emission event Sunday morning as an instance of Israel chemical warfare, sparking outrage and confusion among human rights groups, politicians, and diplomats. Arab states called for an emergency session of the United Nations Security Council to address the alleged crime against humanity, and rival Palestinian factions scrambled to make political hay of both the incident and the publicity fiasco surrounding it.

Shortly before 4 AM Sunday, according to witness reports, a five-man team of Hamas commandos began an exercise in a subterranean passage linking two bunkers, when the lead fighter in the group passed gas. Others in the group remarked on the flatulence, and the group’s communications devices carried their comments to commanders in one of the bunkers. At that point a communications breakdown occurred, experts believe, as mention of the fumes was construed by an NGO employee on the scene as indication of a chemical attack. The human rights worker informed his colleagues of the alleged attack, and media such as CNN, BBC, and AP took that version of the report at face value.

“It never occurred to any journalist there to question the veracity of a story accusing Israel of an atrocity,” recalled a shrugging Ali Latdam, a stringer for The New York Times who wrote an uncritical article based on the report. “That’s the industry standard.”

After subsequent clarifications of the incident by Hamas officials through the afternoon assured journalists and activists that the noxious substance did not come from chemical weapons, the Security Council delegates declined to withdraw their demand for an emergency session. “We’re due for one on Israel anyway,” explained the ambassador of Mauritania. “It’s been what, two whole days since the last one?”

“Besides, it’s only because of the Israeli siege that the fart had to be produced underground in the first place,” added Sudanese delegate Reah Noddeff. “Perhaps the time has come for another international aid flotilla to call attention to the appalling conditions under which Gazans must pass gas. At least the people of Syria have exposure to chemical weapons and can tell the difference – the poor population of Gaza does not have that luxury, and deserves our urgent attention.”

Please support our work through Patreon.