Hamas Vows To Rebuild Clothing Store Named ‘Hitler’

The movement has chosen Hitler 3 as one of its flagship reconstruction tasks.

Gaza City, March 2 – The owner of a now-destroyed garment sales enterprise named after the most notorious, genocidal dictator of all time announced today he had secured funding from the Islamist group that governs this territory, to reestablish the shop, which will carry the numeral “3” after the fascist leader’s name instead of the “2” in the previous incarnation of the business.

Nidal Radwan, owner of the now-rubble “Hitler 2” clothing store in this city before the current war, sent messages to friends, business contacts, and former customers today, to the effect that Hamas will help pay to rebuild the store. He credited the organization with committing to provide more than $75,000 to make Hitler 3 a reality. A spokesman for Hamas “Liked” one of the posts announcing the project on social media, and another commented that the movement has chosen Hitler 3 as one of its flagship reconstruction tasks.

Hitler 2 met a dusty, violent end last year during the IDF’s ground operations in Gaza to locate hostages and smash Hamas’s fighting ability in the territory. The cause of the destruction remains uncertain: Israeli airstrike, Israeli artillery, house-to-house fighting, or booby-traps could each serve as plausible explanations. All the areas in which the IDF fought were crisscrossed with Hamas tunnels and bunkers, making all the structures above them likely targets.

Reconstruction of Gaza remains an uncertain and contentious issue, as does its future governance. Israel failed to dislodge Hamas from its position as the ruling entity, but powerful international interests have stated they will not accept that situation for long. Various governments have voiced hesitation to fund building in Gaza again if it will all get demolished in yet another war several years hence – Hamas has repeatedly insisted it will attack Israel again and again, making destructive retaliation an inevitability. Partly to cement its position as the only credible Gaza governance option, the organization has begun to assert itself in the role by announcing several reconstruction initiatives to which it wants to call attention, among them Radwan’s Hitler store.

“These projects showcase the priorities of the Resistance in rehabilitating Gaza,” explained a movement spokesman. “Of course we will rebuild facilities and positions of military significance. But the morale dimension also requires attention. Rebuilding Hitler – as many times as necessary – is a statement that the enemy cannot defeat us, that our movement is anchored in history, and that we cannot be deterred from continuing Hitler’s work.”

“But those mannequins were butt-ugly,” he added, “and we will insist that Mr. Radwan not use them this time.”

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