Hanukkah: Bibi Stretches 1 Term’s Worth Of Underachievement Into 8

Despite initial assessments that his political cowardice would only suffice for a single truncated term.

Jerusalem, December 9 – In what observers are hailing as a modern-day Festival of Lights miracle, Prime Minister Binyamin Netnanyahu has succeeded in taking the incompetence, tentativeness, cronyism, deceit, corruption, political and economic stultification, and petty factionalism of a single administration, and somehow making it manifest in full flower over the course of eight different administrations.

Netanyahu first came to office in 1996, leading his Likud Party to victory over Shimon Peres of Labor. His government fell two years later to a resurgent Labor under Ehud Barak, and Netanyahu faded to the background under Ariel Sharon as the latter defeated Barak but went on to split Likud over the impending Gaza Disengagement of 2005, leaving Netanyahu to lead a rump party that he soon rejuvenated and led to the leadership of a new Likud-led coalition in 2009. Consecutive electoral achievements in 2012, 2015, twice in 2019, and 2020, place him in position to claim the Prime Ministerial mantle once again in elections anticipated in the first half of 2021, at least according to polls. Such an attainment will not only extend the premier’s record for longest-serving Israeli premier, but mark the eighth time he has taken office despite initial assessments that his political cowardice would only suffice for a single truncated term.

Observers liken Netanyahu’s cumulative achievement to the legendary flask of oil at the heart of the Hanukkah festival. “There was only enough for one night but it lasted eight,” recited journalist Nahum Barnea. “We’re all familiar with the mythic tale in the Talmud. Eight days until more olives of the proper grade could be processed and pressed to meet the exacting purity standards of the Temple. It’s kind of the same thing here, except it’s not the Holy Temple but unholy politics, it’s not oil, but slimy, greasy refusal to do anything decisive, and not purity, but the most impure machinations of political survival and maneuvering. Other than that, it’s eerily similar. Oh, and no one in his right mind is reciting Psalms of praise over this terminal stasis.”

Political rival and Opposition leader MK Yair Lapid, a former television personality and the son of a kingmaker from the era of Netanyahu’s earlier triumph and fall, acknowledged the seeming miracle of Netanyahu’s continued hold on power, but wondered aloud whether others, such as he, might not do a better job of prolonging the diplomatic stalemate with the Palestinians; neglecting to assert his constituency’s right-wing policy preferences; mismanaging the COVID crisis; and kowtowing to special interests.

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