New York, January 12 – Publishing giant Harper-Collins announced today that it will soon issue an atlas for Israeli grade-school students that does not include the names of any Muslim or Arab countries, a launch that the company says is intended to atone for its earlier publication of an atlas for Muslim countries that does not include Israel.
A spokesman at the HarperCollins LLC offices in Manhattan told reporters today that in addition to destroying all copies of the atlas that left out Israel among all other countries so as not to run afoul of what a spokesman called “local sensibilities,” the firm decided to make right with Israel by going in the other direction.
“Our editors realized that a more balanced approach would be the prudent course, so they elected to issue an inverse publication to the one that caused all the trouble, in the interest of evening things out,” said Kloster Phoque of the Collins Bartholomew division. “We expect robust sales of this map in the Israeli educational market, especially now that the market is primed from the other recent episode. Since everybody knows Israelis and Arabs contribute in equal measure to the cycle of violence and delegitimization, obviously Israelis will be clamoring for this atlas, because they’re just as eager to make everyone else disappear as Arabs are to destroy them.”
A representative of Israel’s Ministry of Education expressed gratification when asked about the atlas. “I… I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said spokesman Arye Adah-Yormeind. “Am I missing something here?”
Teachers at Israeli schools also praised Harper Collins for the upcoming atlas. “Are you serious?” said Ramat Gan educator Ura Nidyit. “Are you *&$@! serious?” she asked, clearly in joyous wonder.
Israeli parents were similarly awestruck by the fantastic new atlas. “I have… no words,” said Hussein Jabri of the northern town of Nazareth. “This isn’t a prank, right? Where’s the hidden camera? Are you really journalists?”
(h/t Gershon Weissman)
Can someone explain to me, when Armenia became ISLAMIC? they couldn’t make Armenia into a muslim nation after 1600 years of invasions, but the creator of this map made them MUSLIM ! Congratulations … the might of the Persian army, the genocides of 1895, 1915-1923, didn’t make Armenians muslim, but this MAP did…. good stuff.