HaZorfim To Supply Silver Platter On Which To Hand Hamas Victory

The existing HaZorfim pattern upon which the platter design for Hamas is based.

Kfar Daniel, Israel, August 2 – One of the country’s most venerable silversmith establishments has been awarded the contract to produce the tremendous silver platter on which to hand Hamas the victory in the current round of violence.

The Prime Minister’s Office announced the results of the tender Saturday evening, following the cabinet’s decision to withdraw all IDF forces from the Gaza Strip, a withdrawal that has already been completed. In order to fully squander this opportunity to remove the threat of Hamas rockets and infiltration tunnels, the prime minister decided to accompany the withdrawal with the presentation of a PR victory to Hamas on an actual silver platter. HaZorfim (pronounced ha-tzorFIM), established in 1952, submitted the winning bid to produce the large platter on short notice.

Proposed designs for the platter varied widely, but the winning selection will be oval, with ornamental handles and a pattern in bas-relief that spells out “Death to the Jews” in one direction and “In blood and fire, we will free you, Palestine.” The size will exceed twelve meters in diameter along the platter’s longest dimension, and slightly more than eight meters across at its shortest.

The exact amount of the impending transaction was not disclosed, but sources close to the Prime Minister’s Office placed it at about 10 million shekels (about $3M). Manufacture of the platter, which will be handmade, is expected to take approximately two weeks, with delivery to occur via the Kerem Shalom crossing along with several truckloads of dual-use cement that can be incorporated into more tunnels into southern Israeli communities for purposes of kidnapping or massacres.

Yosef Merdiger, a spokesman for HaZorfim and a descendant of its founder, offered details of the platter’s design. “We have yet to produce an item of this scale, but the principles of its production are in line with our other products,” he explained, noting that the company makes a large variety of silver trays, typically to hold Sabbath candlesticks. “The platter will be of classic design, of the sort that HaZorfim preserved from Romania in the 1940’s. That will drive home the idea that what is happening now is a repeat of what happened to the Jews of Romania and Eastern Europe at large during that fateful decade.”

He added that the packaging for the platter will also include instructions on how to melt down the metal for use in various weapons systems.