High Schooler Planning Non-Slutty Purim Costume

“I was looking forward to seeing her as Wonder Woman, maybe, or a mermaid.”

Ramat Aviv, March 18 – A sixteen-year-old girl attending one of North Tel Aviv’s high schools shocked friends and family this week when she informed them that as part of her class’s celebration of the upcoming Purim holiday, her planned costume did not involve looking like a whore.

Shahar Regev, a junior at Yitzhak Rabin High School, told her best friend and classmate Tamar Weinstein yesterday that she had finally decided what costume to wear to school when the students are invited to dress up on Tuesday and Wednesday before Purim. Regev informed Weinstein via text message that after deliberating whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty Neanderthal, a slutty goth, a slutty pop culture character, or a slutty inanimate object, she arrived at a decision to go instead as the Wicked Witch of the West as depicted in the 1939 MGM film The Wizard of Oz. In that iconic version of the story, the witch, played by Margaret Hamilton, reveals no skin or feminine body shape, a fact that did not escape a stunned Weinstein, who immediately informed the rest of their circle of friends.

Agitated classmates and family members then began contacting Regev to ascertain whether the reports had any basis. She assured them they were not mistaken, and that she had already obtained the black garments, footwear, tights, hat, broom, and green makeup necessary for a convincing portrayal of the 1939 Elphaba. No response was forthcoming from the speechless friends and relatives.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” mumbled Shai Buzaglo, 17. “Is that even allowed? I mean, it’s 2016. Is it legal for a girl in this society not to make a costume an excuse to get within spitting distance of naked?”

Male acquaintances took the news particularly hard. “Well, this sucks,” remarked Niv Cna’an, 17. “She’s hot. I was looking forward to seeing Shahar as Wonder Woman, maybe, or a mermaid. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually. So this is… a disappointment.”

Shahar’s father, Ido, wondered aloud why everyone was making a big deal. “I don’t get it,” he said. “Look at the way she dresses every other day of the year. I don’t know how many times I’ve caught her trying to leave the house with cleavage showing down to her belly button, and the girl pretends not to know about hem lines. Folks are weird.”

Her mother, Ora, refrained from commenting on her daughter’s choice of Purim attire, knowing there are photos in an album on a living room shelf that captured her on Purim 1997 dressed as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.