IDF Reminds Soldiers Not To Leave Base Without Towel On May 25

An IDF-issue towel of the appropriate color will replace the requisite beret.

Tel Aviv, May 25 – The IDF senior command and officials at the Ministry of Defense issued a reminder today that all personnel are to keep on their persons a towel at all times today, in keeping with the observance of Towel Day, held annually on this date.

Chief of Staff Lt. General Gadi Eizenkot and Ministry of Defense Director-General Dan Harel sent a communique to all active personnel this morning informing them that because May 25 is Towel Day, all soldiers must have their IDF-issue towels on them until midnight, when the date changes to May 26. Soldiers who fail to properly maintain a towel will face court-martial for violations of protocol.

“The IDF prides itself on being more than a mere assemblage of hoopy froods,” read the directive. “We instill in ourselves the competence, responsibility, and respect that carrying a towel signifies. As such, it is incumbent upon all soldiers, regardless of their role in this organization, to display the towel. Forty-two units of Military Police will conduct inspections to ascertain adherence to this protocol. Soldiers who sass these inspectors must make their towels visible to those police.” Eizenkot and Harel reassured soldiers not to panic.

The special military protocol for Towel Day includes the replacement of the beret under the left epaulet with an IDF-issue towel of the appropriate color. Each type of unit boasts its own color beret, which, when protocol dictates it not be on the head, must be affixed in a specific way on the shoulder. The General Staff’s reminder was accompanied by an illustration of the proper folding, placement, and securing of a towel on both the head and shoulder positions, using the purple beret of the Givati infantry brigade as an example.

Berets are not worn into combat. The reminder referred personnel to the IDF’s Code of Conduct, which specifically discusses the accommodations to be made by helmet- and body-armor-wearing troops on Towel Day. The Code requires that the towel be worn under the helmet, with enough of its edge protruding around the ears on both sides of the head so as to be visible from three meters away.

Senior officers will be given discretion in deciding whether a specific soldier’s circumstances require that the towel protocol be waived. The only blanket exception is given to the liaison officers monitoring the Israel Military Industries project to develop an SEP (Somebody Else’s Problem) Field, a form of stealth technology for cloaking vehicles and supplies.

Also in observance of Towel Day, the crews aboard the Israel Navy’s Dolphin-class submarines will be served an extra helping of fish.