IDF To Draft Get-Refusers As Minesweepers

Much otherwise-valuable agricultural land remains inaccessible.

Golan Heights, March 9 – Numerous areas of this elevated strategic plateau remain off-limits or hazardous to human passage because of the decades-old presence of antipersonnel explosive devices that once protected Israel’s frontiers with Syria and Jordan, the utility of which has diminished or disappeared, but the continued danger they pose has prompted the military to adopt a new program under which men who refuse to grant their wives a proper divorce will be marched through those areas to help clear them.

IDF spokesman Brigadier General Hidai Zilberman announced today the launch of the Israel Expedites Divorce (IED) initiative, a collaborative effort between various government ministries, under which sarvanei get, as they are known, must serve as “minesweepers” by walking through fields or old ordnance disposal grounds to locate and perhaps detonate the devices.

“We are pleased to inform the public that together, several major government institutions have teamed up with our logistical and command infrastructure to address two major problems,” he stated at a Ministry of Defense press conference Tuesday morning. “For decades, the IDF relied on land mines as one component of its defensive belts to impede invasion from Jordan or Syria. Over the years, the necessity and effectiveness of that element of defensive strategy has waned, in some locations to the point of uselessness. Tragic incidents from the 1980’s onward eventually led to legislation mandating a dedicated unit tasked to clear mines, and as many of you are aware, its activities have in recent years expanded from the Jordanian frontier to the Syrian. Much work, however, remains, and otherwise valuable agricultural land remains inaccessible.”

“The other problem involves men – it is overwhelmingly men – who withhold a religious divorce document from their wives, as a tool of extortion, perhaps, or simply because they are evil,” he added.

“To hasten the clearing of the obsolete explosive devices,” continued General Zilberman, “the Chief Rabbinate, the Ministry of Religious Services, the Ministry for Internal Security, and at least a dozen commands within the IDF have begun a collaboration under which, at least at first, two dozen sarvanei get will be marched abreast across specific areas known to contain land mines. Program supervisors will monitor how many mines the IED personnel locate and detonate, along with attrition rates among that personnel, so that the unit retains its effective manpower level. After two months, if the program shows promise, IED will expand to include at least ten such teams, with the manpower supplied by civil and Rabbinical courts that maintain lists of sarvanei get to keep the teams functioning at optimum capacity.”

General Zilberman acknowledged the risks of the program, including the possibility that numerous potential draftees will grant their wives divorces and thus remove themselves from eligibility, but assured the public that either way, positive outcomes will accrue.

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