IKEA Saleswoman To Strangle Next Customer Who Makes ‘One Night Stand’ Joke

To make matters worse, continued Ms. Meir, in the interest of good customer relations she must conceal her frustration and annoyance.

Rishon LeTzion, April 12 – A member of the floor staff at this furniture and housewares superstore has just about had it with men who think themselves clever and original when they flirt with her using a play on words that involves a bedroom accessory and a reference to casual sex, and predicts she will visit violence upon anyone who attempts such a joke in the near future.

Sagit Meir, 25, told coworkers this morning that she has lost count of the leering customers who approach her as she mans the bedroom furnishings department and ask her for one night stand. The next one who does so, she warned, will be in a choke hold so fast he won’t have time to figure out the pronunciation of the Swedish name of the night table about which he’s quipping.

“I have so had it,” she vented. “It’s bad enough to have to hear the same stupid joke hundred times a week; but each guy who walks in and subjects me to it thinks he’s the first person ever to think of such a clever pun. Wow, dude, you’re so amazingly original – now I want to sleep with you! Let’s jump into a TRYSIL or NORDLI and get it on right now! Putz.”

To make matters worse, continued Ms. Meir, in the interest of good customer relations she must conceal her frustration and annoyance, lest a cold response to the joke undermine any impending sales. “I’m a pretty tolerant person under normal circumstances, but this isn’t normal,” she fumed. “I swear, it’s as if these guys forget they came in with their wives and girlfriends. I know I’m pretty, but that doesn’t mean you’re invited to lose all sense of self-respect around me, and ignore your commitment to someone else in the interest of what amounts to a prurient Dad joke. No way I’m going to pursue anything with a guy so inconsiderate of his current romantic partner. It would be me next. And most of them are fat anyway. No thank you, with or without a MALM-2 or HEMNES bedside table. Those have one and two drawers, respectively, by the way, and they’re a great value,” she added to a passing customer.

Still, she conceded, the situation has improved in the three months since she no stopped working at the spare parts service desk, where she would repeatedly fall victim to smart-Alec guys who approach and tell her they’re having trouble with their previous purchase because they “need a screw. ”

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