In Case Of Hezbollah Attack, Biden Admin Promises Israel Harsh Victim-Blaming

Biden will rush to explain that Israel probably deserves it.

Tel Aviv, November 8 – The White House sought today to reinforce its support for a maritime boundary and resource-sharing agreement between the the Jewish State and its northern neighbor Lebanon, assuring officials at the Ministry of Defense in this city that if the Iran-backed Shiite Islamist militia controlling Lebanon resorts to violence to press further claims, contrary to the terms of the agreement, the US will firmly stand behind statements justifying that violence and explaining why Israel kind of asked for it by being so stubborn about continuing to exist and protect itself.

American envoys visited the ministry Tuesday to restate President Biden’s staunch support for the agreement signed two weeks ago delineating a maritime boundary and division of natural gas revenues from offshore drilling in the area. Israel and Lebanon formally remain at war since 1948; Israel invaded Lebanon in both the 1970’s and 1980’s to suppress Palestinian terrorist groups, and maintained a security zone inside Lebanon until twenty years ago – only to be forced into invasion again when Hezbollah kidnapped and murdered three soldiers. Since 2006 an uneasy clam has prevailed along the border – under the nose of UN “peacekeeper” troops unwilling or unable to stop or track Hezbollah’s constant attempts to provoke the IDF into further violence. Biden’s envoy Amos Hochstein mediated between Israel and Lebanon – with the two sides never officially meeting each other, lest that imply Lebanon’s recognition of Israel – to produce the agreement, which bars aggression from Lebanon over the maritime boundary and allocation of resources. If Hezbollah violates that or any other provision of the agreement, Hochstein insisted, Biden will rush to explain that Israel probably deserves it.

“This is an important statement of the centrality of Israel as an ally in the Middle East – our closest ally in the region,” proclaimed Hochstein. “That’s why I’ve come to reinforce our commitment to Israel, at least insofar as telling Israel to shut up and take beatings because Muslims are upset that they haven’t been able to prevent or reverse the reassertion Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland after thousands of years without it. Muslims have a hard time not being overlords of dhimmi, so we have to be understanding of their sensibilities and not upset them unnecessarily by showing disfavor when they kill Jews. Or Americans, for that matter, if downplaying those deaths help bring us closer to a deal that will shore up the regime in Tehran and their nuclear ambitions and regional hegemonic designs.”

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