Iran Calls On People To Reject ‘Zionist’ Agricultural Advances, Calling Survival ‘Un-Islamic’

“If we truly loved our families and friends, we would spare them the everlasting shame and hellfire that awaits those who use drip irrigation.”

Credit: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons

Tehran, May 30 – The Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran demanded today that nations and organizations cease bringing in Israeli innovators to improve irrigation, water conservation, and other practices, stating that dying of starvation, thirst, pollution, or other maladies remains preferable to granting any legitimacy or positive association to anything or anyone tinged with sympathy for Jewish sovereignty.

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei gave a public address Thursday in which he called on the governments of Islamic nations, states, municipalities, as well as private enterprises, to abstain from normalizing any business or consulting contacts with Israel, foremost among them any work to relieve drought and reduce water waste in agriculture. Engaging with Zionists on such matters, asserted Khamenei, violates the sacred trust with Allah, who would rather see large numbers of people die of thirst, disease, or hunger than avail themselves of any Israeli help.

“We cannot call ourselves true Muslims while not sacrificing our lives, welfare, and health in service of Allah,” admonished the cleric. “All the more so when we must sacrifice the lives, welfare, and health of those we love. If we truly loved our families and friends, we would spare them the everlasting shame and hellfire that awaits those who use drip irrigation, that invention of the Shaytan,” an allusion to the devil.

The ayatollah also warned his flock against the cherry tomato, advances in hydroponic agriculture, and other Israeli innovations, deeming them satanic phenomena that every Muslim must avoid, and must prevent other Muslims from succumbing to the evil temptation of living a healthy, prosperous life.

Regime-controlled newspapers echoed and praised the Supreme Leader’s remarks, adding detail where Khamenei had spoken in generalities. “Our leader and conscience timed his speech for the moment when the forces of evil plan to entice the Muslim world with illusions of prosperity,” editorialized the Tehran daily Aholind Ahed, referring to the Trump administration’s proposal for an economic conference in Bahrain to enhance Palestinian welfare irrespective of progress in peace negotiations with Israel. Palestinian leaders have rejected the idea, mirroring Tehran’s rejection of material welfare if accepting it means reconciling with the existence of a Jewish state on land from which Muslims had hoped to demonstrate their superiority to Jews via conquest.

Some observers argued that Khamenei did not go far enough in his exhortations. “Any Muslim who continues to breathe air on the same planet as Zionists must be considered a normalizing traitor,” declared a cleric in the city of Meshed. “I am therefore refraining from normal oxygen intake until the Zionist entity has disappeared. Please alert me when that

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