Iron Dome Operators Pretty Sure Tech Support Guy Has Indian Accent

“‘Richard?’ Dude, just go by ‘Pradeep’ or whatever your real name is and dispense with the pretense.”

Somewhere near Ashkelon, October 15 – IDF technicians manning a battery of Israel’s short-range missile defense system reported this morning they are convinced the person on the other end of the line when they call for technical support speaks with an Indian accent.

The twelve-member team monitoring an Iron Dome unit protecting Israel’s southernmost coastal city from rocket attacks by Palestinian terrorists in the Gaza Strip noticed the anomalous accent Sunday morning as they attempted to address a malfunctioning sensor. Unit commander Major H. told reporters that both times his soldiers contacted the Iron Dome tech support hotline, they were greeted by a male who identified himself as “Richard,” but who spoke with tonality and consonantal diction reminiscent of a Mumbai tour guide.

“This guy handled our call both times, and we got our issue resolved, so no issue there,” he stated. “But ‘Richard’ – really? Dude, just go by ‘Pradeep’ or whatever your real name is and dispense with the pretense.”

“I swear I almost asked him where he was,” recalled Sergeant M., with a smirk. “He sits there in Gujarrat or wherever, and I was waiting for the opportunity to ask, all innocently, ‘Say, where are you right now? Too bad you have the early shift,’ all waiting for him to find some way to weasel out of revealing he’s like six hours ahead of us over in, I don’t know, the Punjab, and claiming he’s in Hertzeliya or something. But that wouldn’t have been professional, and he did fine in helping us out, so I’m glad I didn’t. Still suspicious, though.”

Other team members voiced concern, rather than mere amusement. “Is Iron Dome outsourcing its tech support to India?” wondered Corporal H. “Can they even do that? I mean, I know Israel has a bunch of call centers for the American market, but they at least make sure to hire American expats with the right accent so no one bats an eye. Even if they do have to go by WASPy names such as ‘April Davenport’ when their real names are more like Aliza Davidowicz or Beryl Cohen.”

A call to the tech support hotline revealed a menu prompt with Mumbai-accented English instructing the caller to select a number corresponding to the product for which they require support, including Iron Dome, David’s Sling, the Trophy Active Protection System for armored vehicles, the Tavor assault rifle, and the nuclear-capable Jericho ballistic missile system.

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