Iron Dome Software Keeps Asking Operators To Update Adobe

No serious mishaps have occurred as a result of the incessant update requests, but that remains a matter of time.

Near Ashkelon, August 21 – Operators of Israel’s revolutionary missile interceptor system expressed cumulative annoyance today after countless months of having the software repeatedly ask them to update their edition of Adobe.

Iron Dome Battery Six personnel, deployed in a field on the outskirts of this coastal city north of the Gaza Strip, told visiting Ministry of Defense personnel this morning that the constant Adobe update requests hinder training and could cause disaster if they continue to pop up on screen during an actual rocket attack on the area, ministry sources said today.

“Whether it’s some PDF reader, Shockwave, or something else, it appears to happen all the time,” lamented Idkun Tokhna, a field coordinator who liaises with the Iron Dome development team. “It’s one thing if it happens every few months – even once a month might be tolerable, if bothersome. But the situation right now is just plain stupid. Whose idea was it to install this package, anyway?”

Iron Dome is set up to operate automatically once its sensitive radar detects a projectile launched in the Gaza Strip. Within seconds, the system calculates the missile’s trajectory, determines whether it is headed toward a populated area, and uses that data to decide whether to fire an interceptor unit. Operators generally perform monitoring and maintenance activities, but in some cases have the capacity to override Iron Dome’s decision whether or not to fire, and their chief worry under circumstances is that Adobe will issue a reminder to update the software at just such a sensitive moment, compromising the system’s and the operators’ ability to protect Israeli communities from rocket or long-range mortar attack.

Soldiers manning the battery reported that no serious mishaps have occurred as a result of the incessant Adobe software update requests, but in their assessment that remains a matter of time. “You don’t need the sophisticated mathematical abilities of the trajectory-calculating algorithm to realize this is going to end in tragedy,” warned a captain who spoke on condition of anonymity under IDF rules. “My team and I have reported again and again that we need to get rid of this software, since nobody’s really sure why we need it. But you know military bureaucracy. What’s most likely is that by the time the senior officers get around to mandating a fix, the next generation of Iron Dome will already be deployed, and they’ll require us to install some patch that’s not longer relevant and will only cause compatibility problems.”