ISIS May Have Obtained Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch

Experts cautioned that it remains too early to establish that IS even knows how to use the weapon, or would want to.

Brussels, March 12 – Military analysts in NATO believe the Islamic State may have gained access to advanced weaponry such as the legendary Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, sources in the region are reporting.

Intelligence reports and analysis of satellite imagery appears to indicate that the radical Islamist group has seized the explosive relic and intends to replicate it for massed use against coalition forces and local populations, said Lt. Colonel Terry Jones at NATO Central Command in the Belgian capital.

“We have communications intercepts and imagery from both satellites and drones that seem to corroborate humint sources to the effect that the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is in the hands of Daesh,” said the officer, using an abbreviation for “human intelligence” to refer to information gathered by agents on the ground. “We are attempting to determine whether these reports can be satisfactorily confirmed, and if so, what state the object is in, so that we can tell one way or the other whether the enemy can make use of it to significant effect.”

Antioch, currently in Turkey, lies close to the border with strife-riven Syria, where the Islamic State is consolidating control. While the vast majority of territory under IS control lies in the eastern part of the country, groups allied with Daesh, and occasionally cooperative elements in the Syrian armed forces, have tacitly condoned or facilitated IS activities on both sides of the Turkey-Syria border. Turkish-Syrian tensions, overlaid with Turkish-Russian friction, have made a clear determination of who is likely to have helped IS sympathizers in Turkey obtain and smuggle the Holy Hand Grenade into Islamic State territory a tricky matter, explained Jones.

Experts cautioned that it remains too early to establish that IS even knows how to use the weapon, or would want to. “One of the chief features of IS rule is the destruction of non-Islamic artifacts in the areas under their control,” noted BBC World commentator Michael Palin. “Since the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch came from none other than the revered Christian Saint Atilla, Daesh is as likely to want to simply destroy the thing as they are to try to use it against enemies.”

Others argued that Daesh was far more pragmatic than many analysts were assuming it to be. “Conquest and the holding of territory is far more important to the Islamic State than the smashing of Christian shrines,” contended Robert Caerbannog. “Remember, this wasn’t something they happened to seize in their territorial expansion – they actively sought to obtain it from outside their area of control. I’d be worried, and I think NATO and the other powers fighting Daesh should tkae steps to combat this threat before anyone can count to three, or perhaps four.”

He added that counting to five was “right out” as an option.