Islamist Apologists Less Practiced At Excusing Murders Of Finns Than Of Jews

“A people under occupation has the right to… to…” trailed off Yolanda Knell

Parliament of Finland

Helsinki, August 20 – Pundits and politicians accustomed to explaining away violence against Jews as either overblown or justified have stumbled in their efforts to make the same excuses for the recent terrorist attack in Finland, having not nearly as much experience explaining why Finland should have expected such violence.

Commentators on the BBC, in the Guardian, the Times of London, the New York Times, and other outlets following a well-trodden path of rationalization when Israel or Israelis are attacked, confessed today they felt awkward trying to apply the same approach to terrorist acts directed at Finland, where a Muslim immigrant stabbed several people to death over the weekend.

“Well, what do you expect after fifty years of brutal – no, wait, that’s not right,” began Thomas Friedman, a New York Times columnist, in an interview on CNN. “I had this all reasoned out before, and I’ve practiced it, but it’s not coming out right. Do you mind waiting a few minutes while I try to recreate this?”

“A people under occupation has the right to… to…” trailed off Yolanda Knell of the BBC. “Can I get back to you on this, Roger? I was going to lay out for our audience why blame for this attack ultimately lies with the nation attacked, but I thinkI got confused with all the other times I did this, when it was someone else.”

“Don’t worry, Roger, I’m not going to reverse my previous knee-jerk prejudice against Israel,” she reassured the talk show host. “That would be ridiculous. I’m sure I can come up with some suitable double standard to sustain my biases and the biases we seek to promote in our viewers and readers.”

Experts predict that the pundits will weather the storm. “It’s not going to be big deal – not because they will make fools of themselves, mind you,” explained analyst Bill O’Really. “The public is used to them making excuses for terrorism. So these people just have to wait for the Finland attack to fade out of the news cycle, and they can return to their old ways.”

“Of course some might go as far as to dig deep into the past for grievances,” he allowed. “Like when Finland fought against the Soviet Union, making them de facto allies of Nazi Germany, even though they had no part in the Third Reich – but that makes it easy now, more than seventy years later, to justify a guy from the Muslim world stabbing people at random. Well, easy for them.”

Please support our work through Patreon.