Israel Treats Us Horri- HEY! Stop Them! They’re Doing Good Things For Us!

By Mohammad Shtayyeh, Fatah official

The sins of the Occupation continue to degrade us and make our lives miserable. The evil Zionist imperialists must be stopped, because their brutal policies do not allow us even to- hey, what’s going on? They’re building a pipeline to supply us with clean drinking water! NO! Cease that at once!

If the Occupation of Palestinian lands does not end, we will never be able to ensure the health and prosperity o- WILL YOU STOP CREATING JOBS ALREADY? Don’t you know your role is villain here? How are we supposed to train ourselves and the world to see you as unvarnished wickedness if you keep providing us with essential services and goods? It’s like no one has explained this to you before, or you refuse to understand. Typical Jewish stubbornness.

As I was saying, it’s crucial that we Palestinians highlight the oppression inherent in Israeli military occupation, especially the aspect of it that allows Palestinians to receive advanced medical treatment in Israel. It’s intolerable that we are denied access to- You! Get out of here! Who gave you the right to accept Palestinian patients, you monsters?! Go back to Europe with your advanced hospitals and pioneering technology! There’s no place for that in Muslim land!

I swear, some people…

Then there’s the restrictions on movement and travel. What kind of occupying regime allows worshipers from the Gaza Strip to travel every Friday to Al Aqsa and back? It boggles the mind. Religious oppression is what it is, I tell you. No one with a heart would subject Palestinians to such degradation. And the tens of thousands of Palestinian workers who enter Israel each day – that’s a clear violation of their human rights and self-determination. No one has the right to deny their self-determination to mark Israel as the epitome of depravity.

The same goes for the pilgrimage to Mecca. Do you know Palestinians are allowed to perform the Hajj, in direct contravention of what our casting of Israel in the role of Devil would have them do? This intolerable deviation from the script that our narrative dictates cannot help but have political and diplomatic consequences in the international arena.

Now don’t get me started on the siege of the Gaza Strip. I could go on all day about restrictions on medicine and staples, of which only 100% are allowed into the territory. It’s not only oppressive, it’s offensive. Who do you Zionists think you are, anyway, taking measures to allow us some semblance of a life when your only job is, and has always been, evil incarnate?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go rail against Israel in international forums for trying to make our lives easier.