Israeli Parties Score Low Prices On Surplus Voter Fraud Allegations From US

Whoever comes in second will no doubt wield these allegations as liberally as their US counterparts were sprayed.

Jerusalem, January 7 – A glut of accusations that officials and institutions within the American electoral system either illegally suppressed or added ballots to favor the candidate of their choice has forced the purveyors of those accusations to sell them at or below cost to salvage whatever revenue they can, while political organizations here in Israel have seized the opportunity to stock up in advance of their own legislative contest this coming March.

Activists, politicians, private individuals, and a handful of journalists spent the weeks following the US presidential and Congressional elections this past November pumping out a large number of allegations that malign activity on the part of election officials distorted the proper outcome of those elections, with the lion’s share of those allegations aimed at discrediting vote counts that favored Democratic Party candidate Senator and former Vice President Joe Biden over incumbent President Donald Trump of the Republicans. The numerous charges of miscounts, ballot destruction, tampering, fraud, repeat votes, and other illegal activities have proved so pervasive that the domestic US market could not handle them all, even after a contentious, high-stakes Senatorial contest in Georgia this week. Seeking to offload their surplus as quickly and efficiently as possible, purveyors of those allegations found some relief in sales to Israeli parties that anticipate a need to blame their upcoming electoral failures on malicious outside machinations instead of their own inability to resonate with enough voters.

“The proportions of the imported fraud allegations aren’t really important,” explained Israel Radio political analyst Hanan Crystal. “The vast, vast majority of the alleged fraud is said to have involved disqualifying votes for Trump and manufacturing votes for Biden, especially in the key states of Michigan, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Wisconsin, Nevada, Arizona, and even Alaska. But fraud, like money, is fungible, which means even parties whose members would refuse to be in the same room as Trump won’t shrink from using fraud allegations that were produced for his sake. We can expect the Likud, Yesh Atid, Yamina, and New Hope parties to take advantage of these low-price fraud allegations, given the leading role each one aims to play in coalition negotiations; whoever comes in second will no doubt wield these allegations as liberally as their US counterparts were sprayed. But we should also anticipate smaller parties doing the same thing, given how affordable the allegations suddenly are. If Labor disappears, for example, even they can spring for an allegation or two that would normally be the province of the better-funded, larger parties, which  of course Labor once was.”

Experts predict the surplus allegations will prove of the same quality and effectiveness as the rest of the batch.

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