Israelis 100% Protected From COVID Viruses Trying to Penetrate Chin

A handful of conscientious citizens even cover their mouths.

Jerusalem, June 8 – Ministry of Health officials announced promising new figures today in the battle to contain coronavirus, figures that they contend show complete effectiveness of surgical and other masks worn over the chin in preventing infection from pathogens that might otherwise get into the body via the chin.

Deputy Director-General Raoul Panim told reporters the ministry’s newest statistics indicate a one hundred percent success rate in preventing the spread of COVID-19 through the outer skin of the jawbone and portion of the neck, an achievement that medical authorities attribute to the widespread practice among Israelis to wear surgical masks on that portion of the head and face while in public.

“We have seen zero new cases of the coronavirus in the last two weeks that can be traced to penetration of the virus through the neck and chin,” boasted Panim. “The government’s strategy for containing the pandemic has paid dividends, and the public’s cooperation with this element of the strategy has played an important role in that success.”

Panim stressed that Israel is not out of the woods yet. “We have flattened the curve,” he acknowledged, “but much work and restraint remain. This past week saw a spike among students and teachers in several cities, partly as a result of improper adherence to distancing protocols, which include wearing a mask to cover the chin. It does not even have to be an expensive or specially-designed mask; even simple, cheap, mass-produced disposable masks are readily available for the purpose, and many people have sewn their own from everyday materials.” Panim also noted that at the institutions where the spikes occurred, no cases of chin-penetration-coronavirus-infection has taken place before, bolstering the argument for maintaining the practice.

One high school in central Jerusalem saw more than a hundred new cases last week, with smaller but similar spikes in other cities and educational institutions. Several such establishements have closed until further notice.

Public health officials urged Israelis to maintain their chin coverings even as social distancing and lockdown restrictions have eased. Supermarkets that several weeks ago refused entry to customers without rubber gloves and without the application of hand sanitizer still insist on the use of masks; a casual survey of one such warehouse-style establishment in Jerusalem’s Giv’at Shaul neighborhood bore out the ministry’s assertion that the prophylactic practice of covering the chin still enjoys absolute adherence, with a handful of conscientious citizens even covering their mouths with the mask.

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