Jewish Archaeological Finds Only Prove Jews Already Faking Native Status In 700 BCE

“Nothing but ancient fakes designed to hoodwink future archaeologists into believing Zionist propaganda.”

Jerusalem, July 10 – Experts examining the evidence unearthed over the decades tying the Jewish people to the areas under current Israeli control note that such discoveries, rather than demonstrating ancient links between modern Jews and their homeland, instead indicate that even thousands of years ago Jews engaged in planting artifacts to fool the world into believing Jews belonged there.

Academics and field archaeologists reviewing excavations at the City of David and other sites from the Biblical and post-Biblical eras dismissed the mounting evidence for Jewish and Israelite civilization, arguing that such finds only reinforce the Palestinian claim that Jews fake their ancient attachment to the Holy Land and have been doing so for many centuries.

“To the uninitiated perhaps these ‘discoveries’ are impressive,” explained Professor Gas Leit of Bir Zeit Uiniversity. “But those of us who study the field already know to be skeptical of so-called ‘Jewish’ or ‘Israelite’ artifacts and structures, which serious scholars long ago determined are nothing but ancient fakes designed to hoodwink future archaeologists into believing Zionist propaganda.”

Professor Leit acknowledged the sophisticated nature of the fake artifacts, observing that they appear to have occurred naturally in sites dating from early antiquity. “We must recognize that the charlatans of, say, the ninth century before the Common Era knew what they were doing when they planted these pieces,” he conceded. “The bula, or clay seal, of a figure mentioned in the Bible itself in a text from the same period can’t help but generate hoopla. The ancient Zionists who planted it knew that. I’d wager even that this ‘Natan-Melekh, servant of the king,’ left it there himself to fool later generations into thinking he existed in that capacity. That, or he altered the text of the book Biblical of Kings, possibly both. You can’t underestimate the diabolical cleverness behind this endeavor.”

Earlier theories to explain the preponderance of materials linking Jews to ancient Israel and Judah focused on the notion that artifacts were placed by Zionist time-travelers, but more recent scholarship has cast doubt on the likelihood of that scenario. Still, some holdouts maintain the time-traveling hypothesis as a better explanation of the available evidence, since it does not require a reckoning with the explicit existence of Jews in Judah at a time many centuries before any contemporary sources refer to it with any frequency or consistency as “Palestine.” The time-travel hypothesis partisans also believe their interpretation of the evidence more credible than alternatives such as the Khazar theory, which posits that an ancient group from central Asia planted the Israelite evidence in Palestine, a theory that fails to explain how the Khazars achieved such a feat without anyone noticing their movement.

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