“Petty tyrants.”
Toronto, August 7 – A prominent advocate for traditional mores dared his numerous ideological opponents to a spiritual duel on a hilltop overlooking the Mediterranean today.
Dr. Jordan Peterson, clinical psychologist and author of 12 Rules for Life, an outspoken, controversial figure in the culture for his criticism of radical change and for his promotion of personal responsibility as the key to building a better world, challenged what he called the Prophets of Baal to demonstrate the truth of their Anthropogenic Climate Change position on Mt. Carmel in Israel’s north, while he alone would oppose them.
“Tell the Ahabs and Jezebels of the woke world to send their best and brightest. I don’t care how many,” he tweeted on Monday. “You woke moralists are all talk and have to distort the data to support your positions. Your positions aren’t about the planet, the climate, or such absurd notions as ‘sustainability,’ but your desire to control.”
“Meet me at the top of Mt. Carmel on the thirty-first of August, at nine in the morning, local time,” Peterson challenged them. “We will then see whether you can adduce any convincing data to prove the god of global warming is real, instead of continuously pumping out false prophecy after false prophecy of doom. The false prophets of climate change would have us sacrifice our prosperity, our futures, and our liberties on the altar of carbon mitigation, for the dubious goal of preventing disaster that never seems to materialize, in all their decades of prognostication. Petty tyrants.”
“Let us settle this once and for all: is your god real, or is unfettered access to fossil fuels the only viable way to lift nations out of poverty?”
Prominent members of the global warming prophecy community dismissed Peterson’s challenge. “It’s well-established that sacrificing children and futures to Gaia will save us from catastrophe,” argued Just Stop Oil activist Geller Peynt. “Overpopulation is a huge problem anyway. Jordan Peterson is a relic and a kook.”
Nevertheless, a number of progressive activists acknowledged they were considering taking up the Canadian lecturer on his challenge. “If we can humiliate him so publicly, we can strike a serious blow for our vision of reduced human footprint,” argued Greta Thunberg, a teenage activist. “I’m thinking a major spectacle, with, like, cutting ourselves to demonstrate penance for the destructive human impact on the planet, lots of wailing. Like, How Dare You burn that coal!”
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