Labor Promises Funding For Smoother Pavement On Road To Hell

“The current Minister of Transport might have some good intentions when it comes to this infrastructure, but not good enough. Labor can and will do better.”

Tel Aviv, June 1 – Candidates in the upcoming primary for leadership of Israel’s Labor Party voice forceful disagreement on the party’s direction, but agree that crumbling infrastructure occupies an important place among the country’s challenges, and all have pledged a budget allocation for the improving conditions on the road to Hell’s asphalt.

Primary campaign staffers for current party chairman Isaac Herzog, former party leader MK Amir Peretz, MK Erel Margalit, MK Omer Barlev, Avi Gabbay, Amiram Levin, Hod Krovi, Prof. Avner Ben-Zaken, and Dina Dayan, acknowledged that while they disagree on who will best lead Labor forward and generate effective opposition to Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu – and stand the best chance of leading the party to victory over him in the next election campaign – all nine candidates understand the importance of maintaining proper road surface on the route that leads to Gehenna.

“This is about what is best for the country, not a popularity contest,” insisted Gudi Gudi, Assistant Campaign Manager for MK Barlev. “Each of us knows all the others are also working to implement a vision of what they believe is best for the party, and the country, and that he or she is best qualified and positioned to see that vision through. We all agree on that point – we simply differ on some important details. But one are of total agreement is the need to pave that road with the best materials available, and that requires funding. All of us have committed to allocating those funds from the next budget we put forward.”

“The current Minister of Transport has done some work on the road, but not enough, and not fast enough,” added Misgai Dehd, a senior staffer with the Levin campaign. “[Minister Yisrael] Katz might have some good intentions when it comes to this infrastructure, but not good enough. Labor can and will do better.”

“Remember, this is the party that gave us the Oslo Accords, and the land-for-peace formula that essentially concedes Jews are a foreign presence, with all the violence that invited,” explained incumbent Herzog. “It wasn’t done out of malice – we believed, and still believe, that the best way to achieve a lasting peace is to relinquish control of our borders to an unproven, hostile terrorist entity that has demonstrated no inclination to do anything more than hold onto power by violence if necessary. We have everyone’s best interests in mind. We know what we’re doing. What could possibly go wrong?”

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