Lebanese Baffled Why Israel So Bad At Apartheid Vs Palestinians When Lebanon Right There Showing Them How

“Officially, as you know, this is for their own sake, which is why we also build high walls around their camps, we love them so much.”

Beirut, August 29 – Residents of Israel’s tiny northern neighbor voiced puzzlement today regarding the Jewish state’s policy of segregation and disenfranchisement perpetrated against Palestinians, noting that despite Lebanon’s decades-old, comprehensive use of the practice to emulate, their neighbor to the south has never implemented any competent version of the policy.

Lebanon residents both native and Palestinian shared their confusion about Israeli Apartheid, observing that while international media, NGOs, Arab political figures, and numerous other sources call attention to that Apartheid, the fact remains that Israel has done a lousy job of following any real Apartheid policy even though Lebanon lies just over the border and makes no effort to hide its bona fide Apartheid treatment of Palestinians. Israel could imitate that policy with the simple step of copying the plain-sight example to the north, but has failed to do so.

“I can’t hold a real job,” noted Jibril Hassan, a resident of the Palestinian refugee camp Ein el-Hilweh. “It’s against the law in Lebanon for me to own property, a business, attend university, or find employment in a whole array of fields, especially government. And of course I can’t participate in Lebanese elections because I’m not a citizen. All that is for my own good, because otherwise I might get used to being in Lebanon, and I might even like it, when I’m supposed to be fighting to destroy Israel and reclaim the place my grandparents fled seventy plus years ago. Whatever the reason for the policy, it’s clear Israel has no clue what it’s doing, because it can’t be that hard to just copy and paste Lebanese law on the subject. But here we are, and Israel lets Palestinians hold jobs, own property, attend university, and what have you – and when every now and then Palestinian leaders decide to hold elections, Palestinians under Israeli rule are allowed to vote. It’s like those Jews have no idea how to do Apartheid.”

“We’re not allowed to employ Palestinian guests,” confirmed Baalbek entrepreneur Awad Afkam. “Officially, as you know, this is for their own sake, which is why we also build high walls around their camps, we love them so much. We even let them fight among themselves instead of forcing our police upon them. But Lebanon is a small country and we must also protect our workers from low-wage competition. It amazes me that Israel doesn’t follow this easy example, considering its much greater resources and wealth. It’s weird, because everyone knows they have no hesitation about appropriating everything else in Arab culture such as falafel.”

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