Man Hoping To Get EU Funding For Mooning IDF

“My operation is perfectly positioned, if you will, to exploit this situation.”

Raanana, January 11 – A local resident has applied for a grant from the European Commission to help him fund hid efforts to expose his backside at IDF soldiers, the man announced today (Monday).

Seymour Butz, 38, told reporters he aimed to leverage his penchant for sophomoric antics by appealing to a body with a growing desire and apparent desperation to stymie Israeli military and security activities by whatever means. “I established my own NGO, so I could be eligible for funding – they don’t give directly to individuals,” he explained. “And given the way their funding and its demands have been a total publicity disaster of late, I’m betting they’ll just start throwing money at me.”

The father of three, who is currently unemployed, said he had been watching the recent fiasco over foreign government funding for Israeli NGOs, and realized just how much money was in play. “The EU gives millions of Euros to organizations here, trying to sandbag the Israeli political right and make the IDF look bad,” he observed. “It’s been blowing up in their face this week, with the exposé over the weekend about that Btselem activist condemning Palestinian land-sellers to certain torture and death by ratting on them, and his links to Breaking the Silence,” another organization that opposes Israel’s control of the areas it captured in 1967. The EU similarly considers those areas illegally occupied by Israel, and has been fighting efforts to make its funding of like-minded Israeli NGOs more transparent.

“I’m thinking they’ll want to keep the pressure on the IDF without the hazardous political baggage that keeps backfiring,” he continued. “So my operation is perfectly positioned, if you will, to exploit this situation.” Butz said his NGO, called Throwing Uniformed Creeps a Heinie to Upend Suppression (TUCHUS), submitted a proposal that included a detailed itinerary and the number of soldiers he intends to subject to mooning once the funding comes through.

“There’s a regular route I’ve already scoped out,” gushed Butz. “And I don’t have to go too far from home, either, if they accept my proposal. I can actually hit most of my proposed weekly quota on Sunday morning at the Raanana Junction where soldiers line up to catch buses back to base after the weekend. Moon the lot of them once or twice, and that’s dozens taken care of in one fell swoop.” He added that his proposal includes contingency funding for such eventualities as arrests and fines for indecent exposure, but that the European Commission – the EU’s foreign policy arm – would probably be more inclined to provide funding, not less, for an operation that encountered resistance from the Israeli establishment, even if only the police.