Man Pays For Strangers’ Groceries, Gets Arrested: ‘No Israeli Earns That Much Money Legally’

“If you’re not overdrawn on your checking account, there’s no way you’re not involved in something dirty.”

Jerusalem, May 25 – A would-be philanthropist found himself in a holding cell at the Russian Compound headquarters of the Jerusalem District Police today, after he raised suspicion of illicit financial activities when he stood at the checkout of a supermarket in the capital city and began paying for random shoppers’ purchases, an act that a precinct spokesman called “probable cause” to indicate a criminal element, since no Israeli has ever obtained the necessary wealth for such an endeavor without unlawful behavior.

Police Lieutenant Hafara Temunim told reporters that officers detained the 35-year-old man at a branch of the Osher Ad warehouse-type supermarket in the Giv’at Shaul neighborhood of Jerusalem after an off-duty policewoman in the middle of shopping reported to her colleagues that a man had been moving back and forth along the exit side of the checkout lanes, paying for people’s groceries. Officers arrived at the scene and arrested him on suspicion of something, just anything, because no way can anyone law-abiding in Israel afford to be that generous.

“That was the most glaring red flag,” explained Lt. Temunim. “If you’re not spending a good few days each month, at the very least, overdrawn on your checking account, there’s no way you’re not involved in something dirty. We have the guy undergoing interrogation right now, and he’ll break sooner or later. They all do.”

Witnesses recalled that the man had managed to pay for the groceries of at least twenty shoppers, some of whom had multiple shopping carts filled with food and other items for their large families; the Giv’at Shaul branch of Osher Ad caters largely to Haredim, whose families average seven children, by some counts. Those households favor the chain in part because it sells certain products in larger quantities than its competitors, even acting as the sole importer for certain items that carry the Kirkland name – the house brand of Costco superstores in the US. Haredi families also fall disproportionately below or near the poverty line, such that the suspect’s actions benefited numerous households struggling under economic strain already severe before the one-two punch of the coronavirus pandemic.

“I don’t know what they would charge him with,” wondered one witness. “I hope they don’t come after the families this guy helped, though, as accessories to this vague crime. You never know – in a country where organized labor punches far above its weight, you can’t rule out people getting slapped with fines or jail just for going outside the socialist norms of equal poverty for all those without connections.”

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