Man Unsure Whether Missile Siren Interrupted Lather, Rinse, Or Repeat

Ra’anana, Israel, July 26 – A local resident who was forced to rush to his home’s safe room while in the middle of his shower cannot remember where in his shampooing cycle he was when the missile alert siren sounded, sources close to the man reported today.

Ben Teitelbaum, 36, was engaged in his typical shower time routine involving the shampoo of his choice, a locally made product that both cleans his hair and prevents dandruff flakes from forming easily. The father of two had his radio tuned to Reshet Gimel, a station that prides itself on broadcasting only songs by Israeli pop artists. The radio broadcast suddenly announced an alert that rockets fired by Palestinians in the Gaza Strip were heading toward Ra’anana, giving Teitelbaum perhaps a minute and a half to dash out of the shower, wrap himself in his bathrobe, and run to the apartment’s reinforced room. He spent ten minutes in the room, following Home Front Command guidelines, but by the time he returned to his shower, Teitelbaum could no longer recall whether he had been interrupted at lather, rinse, or repeat.

“I know I had the shampoo in my hand, but I honestly have no idea whether it ever made it to my hair,” said Teitelbaum, a securities analyst by profession. “It’s all such a blur. I might even have gotten around to doing it a second time – I just don’t remember.”

Adding to his confusion is the lack of shampoo lather on his hands, which, according to Teitelbaum, most likely reflects his tendency to rinse his hands off before rinsing the lather from his dark hair. However, he concedes the possibility that the shampoo never made it to his scalp at all, and was simply washed away as he fumbled to turn off the water before he rushed out. “It might even have just rubbed off on my robe,” he allowed. “Heck, it’s not beyond the realm of the reasonable to think that I was basically done, and I had just one more lather and rinse left to do,” as per the recommended instructions on the side of the shampoo bottle.

When reminded by a reporter that the situation occurred as a result of rockets meant to terrorize him, Teitelbaum expressed genuine surprise. “Oh, right! Hamas! I remember them! Yeah, this whole thing is causing me to use a little too much shampoo as a hygiene precaution. That must mean they think they’re winning.”