Man Willing to Testify About Discriminatory Parking Enforcement In ICC Case Against Israel If That Helps

He  brushed aside concerns that the Municipality of Jerusalem is not a party to the case, which focuses on actions by the Government of Israel.

Jerusalem, March 15 – A resident of this country’s capital voiced his readiness to serve as a witness for the prosecution at the International Criminal Court investigation into alleged war crimes in 2014, the man announced today, by describing the city’s disproportionate focus on the unlawful placement of his vehicle.

Guy Mendelssohn, 28, told reporters Monday that he hopes to contribute to righting some of the world’s wrongs by offering to include his grievances against the Municipality of Jerusalem in the ICC case, which the court’s chief prosecutor announced about ten days ago.  He specifically offered to detail the myriad ways in which the municipality focuses on his area of residence in its parking enforcement while ignoring or sending only token or occasional representation to less-central neighborhoods.

“I hope the ICC investigation covers the discriminatory way this city gives me parking tickets,” declared the part-time paralegal and full-time political activist. “It’s unconscionable that if I fail to move my car from Betzalel Street before seven each morning I get slapped with a hundred-shekel fine, while folks in the upscale Rehavia neighborhood just a few minutes’ walk from here can go hours into the day without seeing a parking inspector. This is just another manifestation of the same dehumanizing approach the government takes to all of its policies, including, at least allegedly, the targeting of civilians in armed conflict. I expect to hear from the ICC on this subject very soon.”

Mr. Mendelssohn brushed aside concerns that the Municipality of Jerusalem is not a party to the case, which focuses on actions by the Government of Israel and its military arms. It also ostensibly includes investigation into actions by the various terrorist groups that attacked Israeli communities with rockets and mortar shells, but few experts believe that element of the case matters.

“Given the laser-like focus of the court on finding Israeli wrongdoing,” he insisted, “I don’t see a technical matter of who the defendant is being such an obstacle to my material evidence serving the case. After all, it doesn’t seem to matter that the court doesn’t even have jurisdiction over Israel, which isn’t a member; they’re going full-bore with things as if the technicalities were all hunky-dory. So there’s no reason my testimony can’t also be used in the pursuit of justice.”

Court officials have yet to respond to Mr. Mendelssohn’s offer. Experts have cast doubt on the utility of the evidence for the case, but one advocate for Palestinian rights observed that the very notion of parking rules represents an Orientalist imposition of values on the indigenous Palestinian population who also experience the oppression of having a “government” prohibit them from putting buildings wherever they damn well please, which they never had to deal with under the British or Ottomans or OK so maybe they did but it wasn’t the same because at least it wasn’t those damn dhimmi JEWS telling them what to do.

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