Mary, Did That Frankincense and Myrrh Come With A Gift Receipt?

By Joseph the carpenter

Good morning, my dear wife. Is there any way I can make you more comfortable? Little Jesus looks so sweet, swaddled against you like that. What a lovely picture. Would you like something to eat or drink? I’ll fetch some water in a moment. You want to look again at some of the baby gifts we got the other night? Some good ones here. Like gold. Say, did you see the Magi leave a gift receipt for the myrrh and frankincense? Just asking.

OK, here you go, darling. You want me to warm the water up for you? It’s chilly this morning. I can just pop a pot on the fire. While it’s heating, what do you think we should get with the gold? Hmm. Yeah, some clothes for Jesus might be a good idea. I think we passed a weaver somewhere in the area. So, what about the frankincense and myrrh? I guess I could make some herbal infusion out of it or something, but I doubt that’s what you want. I welcome your thoughts on what places sell them. I do wish we had that receipt. Would make it so much easier.

You know how it is: even if the Magi did buy the myrrh and frankincense from a specific seller, the proprietor will insist we can’t return it without a receipt. And some places, even if you have the damn thing – pardon my French, baby Jesus, no need to cry – all they’ll give you is store credit, when everyone knows cash is so much better. What other stuff from such a shop we might need, I can’t imagine. Like we’re short on galbanum or something? Eww.

Here you go – it’s quite hot, be careful. Aww, look at him, nuzzled against you like that. I must say, for a postpartum mother, you look radiant. Absolutely divine. Immaculate, if you’ll allow me. You have no need for frankincense and myrrh, I can tell you that. I know, I know, I shouldn’t expect you to remember whether the gifts came with a receipt when we were so preoccupied by more important things at the time. Sorry I keep bringing it up.

Just, when you have the time or energy, honey, see if you can cast your mind back to that evening when the Wise Men from the East came calling. If they were truly wise, they’d have been considerate enough to include a gift receipt. Myrrh, indeed.

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