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Maybe Somebody Will Eat The Stale Leftover Hamantaschen *Tomorrow*

by Shifra Rubin

Jerusalem, March 25 – Less than four weeks till Passover. We really need to get a move on, getting rid of all the grain products. I’ve already gone through the fridge, the freezer, and the pantry, and made a list of the remaining chametz. Everyone pay attention, and try to think of ways we can use each of them. Anyone want any of the hamantaschen? No? Not even the chocolate-filled ones? Ah, well, you’ll eat them tomorrow, right?

It didn’t bother me so much when no one had any of them on Purim itself. I get it: like ninety percent of the rest of the haul from mishloach manot outpaces hamantaschen in every category. The hamantasch is inherently a mid product. To get it to hold its triangular shape, the cookie part has to be dry, thick, and hard, which already takes it out of contention for anything above “I could eat that if I got the munchies.” Then you have to consider the filling, which, let’s all face it, isn’t worth your time if it has any fruit content. Ugh. So, are we going to eat any today? We have to get rid of them. Still no?

Look, it’s one thing to eat the chocolates, sandwiches, crisps, pretzels, other cookies, cakes, and even the pasta salad – kudos on the original thinking, Ben-Hamu family – before accepting the hamantaschen. I get that. But to actually eat the dried fruit and the coconut-covered… things… before the hamantaschen? Why, it’s almost as if no one actually likes them! But that can’t be. Everyone loves all the traditional Eastern European Jewish foods, such as p’tcha.

I’d hate to have to just dump them, as I do every other year when Passover is like two weeks away and, despite the dwindling supply of bread, cereals, pasta, crackers, flour, frozen dough, and grain-based products, no one is willing to bite the bullet and down a hamantasch or two. Not even the ones with the chocolate dough. Such a waste of food.

I wonder… has anyone ever followed up on the fate of the hamantaschen they send out on Purim? Like I know no one would ever not eat the hamantaschen I make, despite my recipe differing in no substantial way from anyone else’s. The symbolism, I understand: the ancient teaching that the Torah could only be given to those who consume the manna, “ha-man,” and the existing “poppy seed pocket” pastry called mahn-taschen was a perfect vehicle to play on our defeating Haman, and Purim marked a whole new recommitment to accepting the Torah, the whole shebang.

No one? Not even the apricot ones? Or the… is that one a prune filling? So shocking that they all sit untouched since two Fridays ago.

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