Mideast Residents Basking In Paradise That Obama’s 2009 Cairo Speech Ushered In

“It served an important symbolic purpose,” explained Abu Bakr A-Baghdadi, whose meteoric rise to prominence was made possible by the president’s policies.

Aleppo, Syria, April 25 – Residents of the Middle East expressed abundant gratitude to US President Barack Obama this week, saying that they owe the current Heaven on Earth that the region has become to the courageous, visionary address he gave to students in the Egyptian capital soon after assuming office in 2009.

The Cairo address, which ushered in a new era in US-Mideast relations, proved so transformative over the following seven years that few would recognize the place. The Iraq and Syria of yesteryear have all but disappeared; Libya and Yemen have seen unprecedented change; and Iran has embarked on a long-term effort to reshape the Middle East in ways that many experts are tracing directly back to the speech the president gave in June of that year.

Since the address, demographic shifts have altered the population distribution in Iraq, Syria, Turkey, Lebanon, and beyond, with movements affecting places as far as northern Europe. The resulting economic, political, and cultural paradise has many thinkers proposing another Nobel Peace Prize for Obama, whose leadership and consistency played such a key role in the process, beginning with his historic speech.

“Of course it’s not the Cairo address alone that got the ball rolling, but it served an important symbolic purpose,” explained Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi, whose meteoric rise to prominence was made possible by the president’s policies as envisioned in the address. “The concrete achievements of many important figures and movements in this region are the direct consequence of Obama’s attitude toward the area, so succinctly expressed in that speech.’

Syrian President Basher Assad echoed Baghdadi’s assessment of Obama. “The man has redefined the term ‘red line’ on everything from chemical weapons and the targeting of civilians to the unfettered nuclear ambitions of a genocidal Islamic regime,” he gushed. “Who would have thought seven years ago that Israel would be openly cooperating with Saudi Arabia against a common foe pursuing atomic weapons and regional hegemony? It’s all to Obama’s credit.”

For his part, the president deflected much of the credit, saying both that Secretary of State John Kerry deserves much of it, and that the people of the region themselves are the ones who actively pursued change. “Far be it from me to claim that it was all my idea to change the Middle East so drastically,” he said. “[Russian President] Vladimir Putin has also shown vision with regard to the region, and his contribution cannot be overstated.”

Obama also noted that at least a token shout-out should be given to the millions of refugees who have taken it upon themselves to reshape the region at great personal sacrifice.