Minister Of Transportation Blasts Drivers For Traffic On His Way To Work

“Some public officials who should know better would rather sit in their chauffeured vehicles and sneer at hoi polloi than set an example for reducing traffic volume.”

Jerusalem, December 18 – Israel’s highest-ranking official involved in the anticipation, assessment, and alleviation of automotive congestion criticized the country’s motorists today for using roadways in large numbers when he had to reach his office.

Minister of Transportation Yisrael Katz blasted Israeli drivers today upon encountering yet another traffic jam on his way to the ministry complex in the Giv’at Ram neighborhood this morning, deploring their lack of consideration and accusing them of having no idea when or how to use major transportation arteries.

“These people are both clueless and thoughtless,” raved Katz, a close ally of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu of the Likud Party. “I have to be at work no later than eight-thirty on Tuesdays. But tens of thousands of people don’t care about that, and make an active effort to frustrate my attempt to get where I need to be on time. The relevant government ministry has to do something about this recklessness, or I’m going to go insane.”

“I doubt it’s outright malice,” Katz continued, “but there’s something very wrong with the culture if I can’t leave my house at a reasonable hour to get to my office by car on time because at the same time, several thousand Joe Schmoes decide it’s the perfect moment to make my commute a mess. People should be using public transportation, for example, but they don’t. Someone who works in this part of the city has numerous options even not counting the new fast train to and from Ben-Gurion Airport with transfers to the main line through Tel Aviv. I’m especially bitter that some public officials who should know better would rather sit in their chauffeured vehicles and sneer at hoi polloi than set an example for reducing traffic volume. A better traffic situation starts at home.”

Katz voiced determination to address the issue by every means at his disposal. “I’m going to write a sternly-worded letter to the editors of Haaretz and maybe Yediot Aharonot,” he vowed. “I’m going to lace into the relevant government entities, whoever they are, for failing to tackle this growing problem. There’s inadequate infrastructure, inefficient operation, poor planning, and even worse execution, not to mention the disastrous environmental impact of people insisting on using their private vehicles day in, day out. It’s terrible. If I had any say in the matter, I’d be calling for the heads of whoever makes the decisions in that department.”

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