MK Zahalka Writhes On Ground As Bill Rejected, Angling For Red Card

Referees issued no such sanction, according to witnesses.

Jerusalem, July 5 – A legislator from the Joint List whose grandstanding piece of legislation called for international supervision of an Israeli nuclear facility has been faking an injury in the parliamentary aisles in hopes of getting officials to penalize those who voted against the bill and cancel its decisive defeat.

MK Jamal Zahalka of Balad threw himself on the floor of the Knesset as the bill was about to meet a 73-8 end and grasped his left shin, in emulation of a common tactic in soccer, with the objective of convincing officials that members of the opposing side had perpetrated an illegal move that should invalidate whatever they were trying to do.

Referees issued no such sanction, according to witnesses, and Zahalka was ushered back to his seat. He summoned no medical assistance and was observed to walk out of the plenum chamber without hindrance after the session concluded.

Zahalka’s ill-fated proposal invoked public safety concerns in case of earthquakes or other disasters at Israel’s nuclear research facility at Dimona in the Negev. Other members of the Joint List, the only lawmakers to vote in favor, spoke of what they deem Israel’s “hypocrisy” in allegedly pursuing and holding nuclear weapons while attempting to deny them to enemies such as Iran and Syria, and to subject Iran’s nuclear program to international oversight.

“Fair play means fair play,” insisted Haneen Zoabii, also of Balad. “Just because Tehran and Damascus want to wipe Israel off the map doesn’t mean they can’t have the same weapons as Israel. I mean, I want Israel wiped off the map, too, and they have no problem letting me be in the Knesset with all the other MKs. What Jamal ended up doing was highlighting the similar hypocrisy among officials, who showed blatant racism in not issuing a card to cancel the play.”

Other Joint List members, however, criticized Zahalka and hinted at the uneasy unity that prevails in the four-party alliance of 13 MKs. “It was undignified,” sniffed Dr. Ahmad Tibi of Raam-Taal. “Also, he wasn’t very convincing. If there’s one thing our culture should be good at by now, it’s faking injury or death so Israeli Jews look bad. But that was a pathetic display. Maybe we could get [Brazilian soccer player] Neymar [da Silva Santos Jr.] to give him some tips. Or Mr. Zahalka could just watch recordings of Brazil’s World Cup games and see how it’s done.”

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