MKs Fighting Over Who Gets To Slap Zoabi On Wrist

Jerusalem, August 9 – Member of Knesset Hanin Zoabi is scheduled to face a Knesset panel that will determine her future in the legislative body after she was recorded making comments that could be construed as incitement for Palestinian terrorism against Israeli civilians, and her fellow MKs are vying for the privilege of meting out the parliament’s meaningless disciplinary measures against her.

The Jewish Home and Yisrael Beiteinu delegations held a mostly orderly lottery to determine which of the interested candidates would administer the wrist-slap to the Balad Party legislator accused of endorsing the kidnapping and murder of Eyal Yifrach, 19, Gilad Shaar, 16, and Naftali Fraenkel, 16, a little over a month ago. Zoabi also faces charges over an alleged assault of a police officer at a rally, but her fellow MKs agree that charge is almost a requirement for membership in the legislature and is unlikely to affect her treatment there. Other delegations, however, engaged in violent exchanges over who gets to slap Zoabi.

Meretz chairwoman Zahava Gal-On was seen administering a roundhouse kick to Labor MK Nachman Shai, who slumped to the floor. Moments later, Labor leader and Opposition head Isaac Herzog broke a chair over Gal-On’s head, shouting, “In your dreams, [expletive deleted].” Twelve legislators and two aides were injured in the fracas, which ended inconclusively, as those who remained standing – four Labor and One Meretz MK – must still face the more numerous representatives of the Coalition parties for the chance to administer the token punishment.

Zoabi is already barred from all parliamentary activity except for plenary votes for the next several months until the results of the police investigation and potential prosecution become clear. If the prosecution elects to indict her, that ban can be extended, and she may be forced to resign until the public forgets everything in approximately four years. In the meantime, however, the Knesset is working to maintain its status as a refuge for the corrupt, the criminal, and the cynically manipulative by making a big deal out of an essentially pointless bit of theater. Zoabi herself has taken to wearing a layer of Kevlar underneath her shirt in case the wrist-slap occurs anytime soon, rendering the eventual penalty utterly futile.

“It is a political tradition, and not just in Israel, to make a great show of caring about certain values, when in fact the show is actually the only point,” says veteran political commentator Scott Free. “I’m actually surprised Zoabi herself didn’t have a fellow legislator put her name in the hat for the drawing.”

“That’s basically what happened with Avigdor Lieberman.”