MLB Canceled, Sox Fan Still Has Israel To Hate

“Not that I think Israel’s existence is a good thing per se,” he hurried to clarify.

Boston, April 6 – Coronavirus has forced numerous entertainment enterprises to shut down for the foreseeable future, including big-time operations such as Major League Baseball, but one follower of his local team admitted gratitude that Israel remains as a target for his vitriol even if the New York Yankees will not serve in that capacity this year.

Scott Maher, 22, spent the autumn and part of the winter anticipating another fulfilling 2020 baseball season rooting for the Red Sox and calling hellfire down upon the Yankees and their supporters, only to have a global pandemic lead to the cancellation of the entire schedule. His initial shock and dismay at the prospect of not having the Yankees to curse abated with his realization earlier this week that he can still engage in foaming-at-the-mouth opposition to Jewish sovereignty, and thereby satisfy his need to define himself by hating something.

“They can’t take that away from me, at least, and that’s a relief,” he acknowledged. “If I’m going to yell obscenities and epithets at people whose existence challenges my perverse sense of self-worth, it’s good Israel exists so I can protest it.”

“Not that I think Israel’s existence is a good thing per se,” he hurried to clarify. “It’s one of history’s great crimes. I just mean for me, personally, I think it’s healthy to have something to resist.”

Maher devoted some of the last several years dabbling in the anti-Trump “resistance” movement, but dropped the pursuit for good last week when some elements of it clashed with his hometown sensibilities. “I guess the last straw was some people I otherwise respected and admired lambasted [New England Patriots owner Robert] Kraft for supplying much-needed medical equipment to hospitals battling COVID,” he recalled. “Like, he’s a friend of Trump, so everything he does has to be opposed, . What the hell is that? That’s supposed to be the way we treat Israel, but my Pats? Not happening.”

It’s not the first time I’ve had my Boston sports loyalties pitted against my anti-Zionism,” he continued.  “I mean, Kraft is a staunch Zionist. That’s unforgivable, sure, but for me it’s mitigated in large part by his providing the money behind Tom Brady and all those glory years. Jews are supposed to be good with money, so it’s good to have some on your side. I think Trump actually gets that. I still hate Trump and everything he stands for, though. Mostly that he’s from New York.”

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