Neither parent relishes arguing with their daughter about proper attire.
Jerusalem, November 7 – Parents of a local pre-teen admitted embarrassment today over such touchy subjects as sartorial modesty, human intimacy, and male-female relationships, and confided to a reporter that they believe their spouse will discuss those matters with her.
Adi and Yosef Schulman’s eldest daughter, eleven-year-old Noa, will soon hit puberty, and each half of the couple prefers to let the other parent handle the awkward topics of sex, tzniut, and boys, the two disclosed in separate conversations with a journalist Thursday morning. Neither has shared such expectations with the other.
“I’m no good at this – I’ll botch the whole thing,” blurted an agitated Adi , 34. “I have no idea what to say. Yosef is the cool, level-headed one in this relationship. I’ll let him have that conversation with Noa. He’s so much better at navigating awkward situations. I can’t imagine having to talk about menstruation or sex with her – it’s too personal, you know? Yosef can do that.”
“This is one are where I’m happy not to have anything to do with it,” breathed Yosef. “Really none of my business. Maybe the boys, but that’s a few years away. I’m so glad Adi is there to talk to Noa. The two of them can bond over their shared femininity or whatever, and I’ll be in a different room, preferably not even around, when that happens, because I don’t need to be there, and Noa certainly doesn’t need me there. It would just make things worse. Did I already say I’m glad this is firmly in my wife’s domain, her being a woman and all? Because that’s one huge worry off my shoulders.”
Neither parent relishes arguing with their daughter about proper attire. “When she starts middle school I hope the dress code speaks for itself,” worried Adi. “That way we don’t have to speak about it. Noa is headstrong enough as it is; the last thing we need is yet another conflict arena. It’ll be a relief to have school rules I can invoke, rather than have to make it about a family policy, because I don’t want to have to get into a substantive discussion of tzniut. Ugh.”
“I’m sure the staff at school will be good about explaining and encouraging dignified dress,” predicted Yosef. “She’ll get used to dressing the right way at school, and that’ll just become habitual and we won’t have to worry about how she dresses once she comes home, or on non-school days.”
“Summer vacation might be an issue, when it’s hot out,” they both allowed. “So it’s a good thing I have a capable partner to handle that situation.”
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