Mossad Satisfied At World Distracted By So-Called ‘Pluto’

The several bona fide astronauts who have gone to outer space have all been Israeli agents performing maintenance on the machines that control what the rest of humanity sees when they look at the so-called sky.

Laurel, Maryland, July 15 – Israeli intelligence and secret operations officials expressed gratification today at the outcome of their efforts to focus international attention away from the Mossad’s sensitive operations via a sophisticated takeover of the American space program that has gradually convinced the public and government that there is in fact a dwarf planet called Pluto that is being explored.

The New Horizons mission, headquartered in the central Maryland city of Laurel, is actually an elaborate, long-running hoax aimed at keeping the international media and scientific community from noticing Israel’s ongoing operations to subdue and ultimately take complete control of space exploration and exploitation. As with most of humanity’s space-related achievements, New Horizons is actually a scripted production, written, assembled, orchestrated, filmed, and broadcast from a network of Mossad-run facilities, the latest in an eighty-five-year-old project to make believe Pluto exists, when in fact no new objects larger than a comet have been observed in space in the last thousand years. Together with the drama surrounding yesterday’s announcement of a deal on Iran’s nuclear program – also a Mossad operation – Israeli agents have succeeded in deflecting attention from their ongoing efforts to implement space-based mind control and resource theft aimed at the world’s non-Jewish population.

In fact, say the officials, only a handful of humans have actually ventured outside Earth’s atmosphere, and none of those are the ones widely reported as having done so. Yuri Gargarin, Alan Sheppard, Neil Armstrong, Sally Ride, and hundreds of other space personalities were all part of the fake operations, most – if not all – unaware that they were in fact ensconced in a vast simulation facility. Government-sponsored efforts by scientists to debunk conspiracy theories  – most famously that the moon landings were faked – have largely been orchestrated by Israeli agents; the latter even resorted to outright murder in 1986 to conceal its hand in American aeronautics and space travel, causing the space shuttle Challenger to self-destruct when one of its “passengers”  – in actuality just an actor in an underground Nevada studio – threatened to expose the operation.

The several bona fide astronauts who have gone to outer space have all been Israeli agents performing maintenance on the machines that control what the rest of humanity sees when they look at the so-called sky. The meteor that hit the Russian countryside in February 2013 was flung from one of those devices, and Israeli control of space objects extends far back into history, much farther back than the modern State of Israel, whose founding only in 1948 was intended to conceal Israeli involvement in clandestine, globe-spanning activity that began as early as 3800 BCE.